Fun With Uchihas
by Saja Natalia
Summary: When Itachi decides to pop in on Sasuke, both the Uchihas' lives will never be the same. Now Itachi and Sasuke have to coexist peacefully, or at least without killing each other. Trust me, it'll be hilarious.
1. Steps to Improve Oneself

AN: Alright, so this fic is special. Why is it special? Because it's based off of a rpg chat that my friend and I have going on. It's kind of hard to transfer everything from im speak to actual sentances, so the first chapter's a little messed up, but that's mainly because I needed some reason for the Uchihas to be together without killing each other. Anyway, it's going to be good. Just trust me on this one. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything to do with it. I don't even own a purple bow or a squashed onigiri.

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"You know what, Kisame?" Kisame turned to look at his partner. Itachi had an odd expression on his face, and Kisame found himself putting his guard up. "Wh-what, Itach-san?"

"I think I'm going to go see my brother."

Kisame shot him a confused look. "You mean you're going to attack him?"

Itachi shook his head. "No. I think I'm just going to go see him. You know, try to repair the relationship and all."

Kisame shook his head as Itachi disappeared into the darkness. "That Itachi-san really needs help."

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Meanwhile, in Konoha, Sasuke was stepping out of his weekly therapy session. "Stupid Itachi. Makes me have to pay for therapy." Suddenly, the therapy methods popped into his head and he began thinking of unicorns (emo ones, of course) and floating clouds. He had been making some good progress lately, mostly because whenever anyone said the word "Itachi," he'd go into his own little world.

Still, it was better than him being emo.

Suddenly, Sasuke slipped on a smashed onigiri and hit his head. Standing up, he winced. "That wasn't very good. It was probably Itachi's fault." Oddly enough, for the first time in years he didn't find himself recoiling at the name.

Shocked, he said it again. And again. Nothing seemed to happen. "My curse is broken!" he yelled, not entirely sure of what he was saying. Suddenly, right there in the middle of the street, Sasuke broke into the Uchiha victory dance.

"You need help. And I, of course, will lead the dance!"

Sasuke stopped to look around. The voice had come from his right, but when he looked that way, no one was there. "Strange," he found himself saying. Shrugging, he walked onward.

"Come on! I told you I'd lead you in the dance!" This time, Sasuke flung around the moment he heard the voice. Standing before him was his brother, Itachi. Flying backwards, Sasuke shook his head. "What are you doing here?"

Itachi laughed, shaking his head. "Nothing, nothing. I'm just here to help you out, otouto-san." Sasuke winced slightly at the use of the title, but stayed calm otherwise.

"Help me out with what? My only goal in life is to kill you, you know. That's my only issue!"

Itachi shook his head. "Sadly, my brother, that is not your only problem."

"What does that mean?" Sasuke asked, crossing his arms. Itachi was beginning to tick him off.

Itachi responded by merely pointing. Sasuke turned to see what he was looking at and blushed. "The bow? The purple bow? What's wrong with that?"

Itachi shook his head again, a pitying look on his face. "Brother, if you can't see the problem with a purple bow, you must have more problems than I thought. Come." He grabbed Sasuke's hand and pulled him down a street. Once they were out of sight, he looked back at Sasuke.

"To start with, Sasuke, you messed up my Uchiha victory dance, and that's something I can't allow." He placed a hand on his chin. "Now tell me, what did you plan on doing after that?"

Sasuke looked down at his feet. "Um, well, I was um…going to … um…"

"OUT WITH IT!"

Sasuke winced. "I was going to rap, onii-san."

Itachi didn't have a response to that. All he could manage to say was, "What?"

"Rap, Itachi. You know, like string words together with tight beats and rhymes and rythms. You know, rapping, Itachi!" Sasuke bounced on the balls of his feet, trying to convey to Itachi why this was so important.

"Rap?"

"Yes! Look." Sasuke spun around, messed up his hair a little, and spun back, attitude all over his face. "Uh. Uh! The name's Uchiha, and I'm down and I'm hot! All around Konoha you know I can't be stopped! My bro's a killer and that's my big problem, cuz you know whoever tries to fight him, oh he can just stop 'em. Uh! Yeah! Peace out, y'all!"

Itachi looked at him like he had five heads.

"Take it, Itachi!" Sasuke yelled, still in the moment. He bounced to the non-existant beat and started beatboxing.

Itachi blinked a few times. "Sasuke, I DON'T RAP!" Sasuke immediately stopped beatboxing. "I just thought a brotherly rap…"

"I don't rap, Sasuke. Ever. I sing!" Sasuke's face fell, totally afraid now. "Hit it, Kisame!"

Somewhere around the rooftops, a song Sasuke had never heard began playing. And, to Sasuke's horror, Itachi began to sing along with it.

"LA LA LA! I'M HOTTER THAN MY BRO AND THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW!" He broke out of the song for a moment. "Holy crap! That rhymed!"he said to himself.

Sasuke shook his head. "C'mon, Itachi. You know when I get older I'll at least be close! That is, if I ditch the bow and Orochi gear."

Itachi, however, was still in his own little world. "MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO! MESS WITH ME AND I'LL KILL YOU!" He stopped singing for a moment. "Yes, when you're older, you might be close, but your looks won't ever be better than mine."

Sasuke shuffled his feet, grumbling. "At least my nails aren't purple," he mumbled.

"And put your hair in a ponytail," Itachi demanded. "You need to grow it out. It'll look better then."

Sasuke shook his head. _If I hadn't hit my head, I know none of this would be happening. I just hope this is all a dream._

Itachi, however, was still rambling. "And wear less emo makeup, and fix your hair, and stop curling your eyelashes, and keep your sharingan on, and paint your nails, and wear less blue…."

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AN: Pardon my OOCness. Yeah, so the first chapter isn't very good. Just stay with me. It'll get great. I promise. The amount of insanity is going to be overwhelming. Just wait until Neji gets in here. Wow.

Massive thanks to you, Onii-san, for making this entirely insane! (and for not protesting, as of yet, for me posting this.)

Please stick with me. I promise it'll be good.

Please review!


	2. Of Wafflecrisp and Sleepovers

AN: So I have to keep this going, but it's not to it's funny crescendo yet. It'll start getting better pretty soon. This is all just background. Please bare with me, especially on the OOCness.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything to do with it. I don't own Wafflecrisp either, and I don't own the comic having to do with it. I also don't own Barbie or, luckily, a pair of their sunglasses. At all. Don't sue, please.

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Sasuke sighed, trying desperately to ignore the ramblings of his older brother. Deciding that he needed to change the topic, he looked up from Itachi's toenails. "Um, Itachi, what do you and Kisame do when you have free time?"

"And lose some weight and start smiling less and be less angsty and….what?" Itachi asked. "We train. That's what we Akatsuki do."

Sasuke smirked. "Uh-huh," he said, sarcastically. "I'm sure."

"Then we sit and have milk and cookies. Zetsu used to cook for us, but then we started finding interesting little things floating in our soup and such. That wasn't very pleasant," Itachi rambled on.

"Hey, purple boy, does Kisame paint your nails? Do you make him sushi?" Sasuke giggled to himself. "Do you make him _special _sushi?"

Itachi's face flushed. "Who're you calling purple?" he demanded. ("Purple!" Sasuke coughed.) "And no! Kisame hates seafood, as do I! And what do you mean by special? And do you have a problem with my nails?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I don't really care. I've got tomatoes. I'm happy."

Itachi bit his lip and gave Sasuke a bad look. "Do you want to know why you're so weak?"

"Onii-san, can't you be positive? Ever?" Sasuke sighed. "Why? Am I sick from tomatoe poisoning?"

Itachi shook his head. "Of course not, otouto-san! You're weak because you lack….WAFFLECRISP!"

Sasuke's face fell. "It's not my fault you took oall of the money! I'm broke, Itachi! The Konoha orphan fund doesn't pay well, and Orochimaru doesn't pay me at all!"

Itachi shook a finger at him. "Then go steal it! Or eat it in the store!"

"That's illegal!"

Itachi laughed, his hands on his hips. "And that, little brother, is one of the many reasons why I'm in the Akatsuki. You couldn't make it in there, Saskue!"

Sasuke smirked. "You can kill off an entire clan but can't manage to spell your little brother's name?"

Itachi scowled. "Give the blind man some credit!" he yelled. "I don't even like these sunglasses!"

Sasuke laughed. "You're such a little Shino poser! You went out and got the exact same glasses as him!" He shook his head. "At least be original. Get pink Barbie sunglasses or something."

"Hey!" Itachi fumed. "The Leader went out and bought these for me! It's not my fault that you don't like them. And what kind of boy your age likes Barbie?" He shook his head. "Besides, Leader said they would make me stand out less, although with Kisame by my side, I don't think they do much. I mean, it's kind of hard not to notice him. And that sword of his. It's huge!"

Sasuke smirked, whistling idly. "Overcompensating…." He smirked. "Did you take Kisame's sword? Did you polish it for him? You know how it hurts people when he releases it. It's quite terrifying. Can you handle his sword? Isn't it blue?"

Itachi sighed, not quite catching on to Sasuke's questions. "Yes. It's blue. And I've never weilded his sword. How should I know?" Suddenly what Sasuke had been saying clicked. "Hey! I'm not gay with Kisame!"

Sasuke smirked. "Uh-huh. I'm sure."

Itachi shook his head, throwing his hands down. "Seriously! I mean, we did dance together once, but we were drunk! What everyone's saying isn't true. Kisame and I aren't lovers! And Sasori and Orochimaru weren't either!"

Sasuke nodded mockingly.

"Why does everyone always assume we're all gay together? We're just a bunch of guys rooming together. All we do is play pranks. Like the day Deidara put my hair in pigtails."

Sasuke sighed. "Yeah. Sure. Anyway, Itachi, I've got to get going. Your Akatsuki friends are probably waiting for you, and I've got to get to Naruto's sleepover." Sasuke shivered. "I regret ever saying yes to that kid."

Itachi's eyes lit up. "What? A sleepover?"

"Yeah." Sasuke kicked a rock. "I'll just chidori him while he's sleeping and I'll leave him on your doorstep with my "Kyuubi Cooking for Dummies" book with him." He turned to go. "You'd better take care of him."

Itachi sighed. "Shouldn't be too hard. You should dye his hair. Make it some interesting color. Oh!" He bounced on his feet. "Dye it pink! Tell Sakura he did it out of admiration!"

Sasuke chuckled. "Oh, and otouto-san?" He turned aroud. "Make sure you eat some sort of good breakfast."

"Kyuubi?"

"Something that gives you energy."

"Fluffy Kyuubi?"

Itachi shook his head. "No ramen. And no tomatoes. And make sure you brush your teeth and take a shower!"

Sasuke groaned. "But Itachi! It's the Scent of Sasuke™! Sure to Drive Every Fangirl Nuts©! Only $19.95!"

"Do it anyway! And get some sleep! You're going to need it!" 

Sasuke sighed. "Eh. You know. Sleepless nights brought on by the sight of your clan being slaughtered by your brother...eh. I gotta get over it…." He trailed off.

Itachi shook his head and pushed Sasuke forward. "Fine, but GO! The Kyuubi's waiting!" Sasuke smirked and shook his head. "Fine, onii-san."

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AN: It's still moving pretty slowly and not too funny, but it's working on it. It should be better soon enough. I'm telling you, when Neji shows up, it'll all get better.

Please stay with it!

Review please!


	3. Neji Really Looks Like a Girl

AN: So the third chapter's one of the reasons this fic's rated T. It's a bit…interesting. That and NH, but we'll get to that later. Please enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything to do with it. I also don't own any hair dye, which is probably a good thing.

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Sasuke snickered to himself as he walked home the next day. He wasn't paying much attention to anything, until he heard his foot crunch on something. Looking down, he saw a note lying on his step. "Ug. What now?" Reaching down, he began to read it.

_Otouto-baka,_

_This is your older brother. I hope that u had fun at your sleepover. I also hope that you dyed naruto's hair like you said you would. I swear, if you did not eat a balanced breakfast before your day started…._

_If I am not here it is because I am on a mission or with my fellow Akatsukis. NO, I AM NOT WITH KISAME!!!!! He is with Deidara buying some fish (the leader thought that it would be amusing)._

_But in case you were wondering, my night was fine. We let deidara cook. He had fun, but I'm not sure what we ate. But then the sparkling juice came out and...Well, lets just say that I saw some things that I didn't want to see (NOT THOSE THINGS!!!!!). _

_Well, the leader is calling all us Akatsukis. So, I will leave you. I will see you eventually, and if not, when your hate is strong enough, come and seek me._

_  
Love,  
Itachi _

"What the heck?" Sasuke shook his head. "First he kills off the clan, then he writes me notes aying he loves me." He sighed and opened his door.

Itachi was sitting on Sasuke's couch, reading a magazine he had found. "Nii-san!" Itachi turned at the name. "Oh, Sasuke. Did you like my note?"

"Uh, sure," Sasuke responded. "But how'd you get in my-"

"HUG!" Itachi stood up and hugged Sasuke hard to his chest. All Sasuke could do was twitch against his brother. About two minutes later, Itachi let him go.

"So did you do what I told you to do?" he asked Sasuke.

"Um, eat a balanced breakfast?" Sasuke asked, trying to remember the note.

Itachi sighed. "Well yes, but did you dye Naruto's hair?"

Sasuke smirked. "Well, yeah, but that got…interesting." Itachi turned to look at him, and Sasuke continued. "It turns out Naruto's allergic to hair dye, so he kind of swelled up."

Itachi laughed. "That's amazing."

Sasuke shook his head. "That's not the end of it. You see, Naruto got mad about it, too. So he wound up as a puffy, pink, nine tails."

At this, Itachi burst out in hysterics. He held up his palm and high fived Sasuke. "You're becoming more and more like me every day."

"Thanks," Sasuke said sarcastically, moving around to make lunch. "Like I haven't heard that enough from a whole bunch of people. Orochimaru, myself, the Kyuubi…." He ticked the numbers off on his fingers.

Itachi shrugged. "That's another reason he left, you know. Orochimaru, that is." Sasuke turned to listen. "Yeah. Orochimaru left Akatsuki because I dyed his hair. Turns out he doesn't like blonde, orange, and pink hair that much. I was going to do it to Sasori, but, you know."

Suddenly, an image of a blonde Orochimaru filled Sasuke's thoughts. Sasuke felt his right eye twitch.

"Then there was that one time that I was drunk. I did it in a rainbow. Don't think he liked that." Itachi smirked, playing with a lock of his own raven hair.

Sasuke twitched again. "A drunk Itachi. That's not a pretty thought."

Itachi laughed. "Yeah. You don't want to see that. Not a nice thing."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure Kisame doesn't mind it, though. I think he might like it, actually. Maybe he spikes your drinks!"

Itachi shook his head. "He doesn't spike my drinks. Although he did record me once. I watched it and I definitely couldn't believe that was me." He turned to Sasuke. "Don't ever drink, little one. It will ruin your life." Now it was Sasuke's turn to play with his hair. "I see. Otouto, do you need me to search your house and take all of it?"

Sasuke shook his head. "It's not here. It was at Neji's birthday party. Let's just say things got interesting." _Why am I telling him this?_ "And, well, when you're…not thinking straight, Neji looks a _lot _like a girl."

"Oh Okami-sama. Who else was there? Where his parents home? Did you do something with girls?" Itachi looked down at Sasuke, scrutinizing him.

Sasuke looked down at his hand, ticking off the names. "Naruto, Sakura, Hinata, Juraiya, Shikamaru, Chouji, Ino, Gaara, Temari…. And no. Nothing with the girls." He felt himself shiver. "I've been trying to suppress these memories."

Itachi jumped off of the couch. "Juraiya was there? Drunk? _With girls? _What was Neji thinking?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Neji's weird…" He mumbled something to himself.

"WHAT?" Itachi hollered, shooting towards Sasuke. "NEJI HAD BETTER NOT BE A GOOD KISSER! DO YOU NEED ME TO SUPERVISE YOU NEXT TIME YOU GO SOMEWHERE?"

Sasuke held up his hands in front of his face. "No, and that's a _very _long story."

"ARE YOU GAY?" Itachi demanded, poking Sasuke in the chest. "And you worry about me!"

Sasuke swatted him away. "No! I'm not, okay? Neji just looks a _lot _like a girl! I told you that! And Seven Minutes In Heaven is a game invented by the devil!" He shivered. "So much darkness. So disgusting. Sakura, Ino, Hinata and Temari were fangirling, though. Turns out they like yaoi." He twitched again. "And come on! It's not like you never thought Deidara was a girl!"

Itachi stayed silent.

"I take that as a yes."

Itachi withdrew a bit. "Um…about that."

Sasuke's face was horrified. "EW! What'd you do?" He smirked. "So it's Deidara I should be worried about, not Kisame, eh?"

"NO! And I didn't do anything!" Itachi yelled, moving away from Sasuke.

"Tell me!" Sasuke yelled, following him. "Tell me or I'll get Gaara to kiss you!"

"EW! NO!"

"THEN SPEAK!" Sasuke crossed his arms. "I bet Tobi's not even a good boy."

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AN: I couldn't really find a good spot to cut this one. Anyway, I apologize to anyone out there that might have just been traumatized. There shouldn't be too much yaoi in this, as I'm _definitely _not a fan of it. The next chapter's a bit more on the scary side, though. Talking about Orochimaru….-shudders-

Anyway, please review! It always makes it easier for me to keep writing when I know you guys liked it!

Thanks!


	4. The Uchihot Gene

AN: Yup, the fourth chapter's up. I hope you're enjoying this so far. And if you're new to the fic, well then, welcome aboard! I hope you guys come to love this fic, new readers and all!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything mentioned in this fic. Even Itachi's pillow. (And if I did have it, I'd be selling it on ebay now….)

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Itachi shook his head. "Tobi's a good boy. He helped me across the street. Said it was good to help blind people." He shifted topics. "Oh, there was this one time, I was in heaven. But that was with a girl. That wasn't Deidara." Itachi seemed lost in memories.

Sasuke put a hand to his face. "Please, _please _tell me she wasn't an Uchiha. Please tell me that wasn't your reason for killing off our clan." A look of dawning crossed his features. "Or was that girl Orochimaru? Was that why he left the Akatsuki? _Is that why he wants me?_"

Itachi shook his head. "No, no! I didn't kiss Orochimaru! He kissed me!"

That shut Sasuke up. He felt himself throw up a little.

"Yeah, I know. I was sick for weeks. And I was asleep when he did it, too. So watch out. I want to spare you the feeling of a snake tongue in your mouth." Sasuke mad a silent vow to never sleep again.

"You know that's why Orochimaru's evil, right?" Sasuke asked. "He was kissing his girlfriend and she choked on his tongue. Kabuto told me."

Itachi's face fell. "Oh no. He was saying her name while kissing me!"

Sasuke covered his mouth. "Oh no, oniisan! Your long, flowing hair has reminded him of his girlfriend! You'll never be safe!"

Itachi's eyes widened. "But I put it in a ponytail! Is it that obvious?"

Sasuke nodded. "Yes! Have Kisame shred it with his sword! Join the Cocatoo Updue Club!"

Itachi's eyes filled with tears as he pet his hair. "No! My beautiful hair! Do you know how long it took me to grow this out?"

"Then wear hats! Dye it!" Sasuke was full of ideas. Suddenly, Sasuke found himself shifting topics violently. "Do you think I'd look good with a really little ponytail? Like this?" Sasuke squeezed the back of his hair into about a two inch ponytail.

Itachi shook his head, ignoring his brother's question. "That's why I wear this cloak. To hide mine. I mean, the neckband's big enough."

Sasuke was still messing with his hair. "Well it's not just Akatsuki that has that. I mean, I do. So does Shino, Neji, Kabuto, even Naruto! It makes us all look like we have flees!" He shivered, his eyes falling on Itachi's nails. "Ug. Itachi. Do you _have _to have purple nails? I mean, what do you do? Have nail painting parties?"

Itachi nodded. "Actually, we did have one of those once. It was pretty fun, but we almost ran out of purple!"

Sasuke shook his head. "I don't see why it has to be purple. Why not black? Black's a good color."

Itachi scoffed. "Black makes you look emo."

"Which you are," Sasuke pointed out.

Itachi paused. "Well, yeah, but still! Some of the Akatsuki members aren't! Like Deidara! And Tobi!" He stood and walked over to the mirror on Sasuke's wall, messing with his hair. "There's got to be a way," he muttered to himself.

"You know, Itachi, no matter how long you look in there, it's not going to get any better," Sasuke said, absentmindedly.

"What?"

It was at that moment Sasuke decided that being with Sakura for the next seventy-two hours probably wasn't the best thing that could happen to him. "Um, well, all I said was that you didn't exactly inherit the Uchihot gene."

Itachi whirled around. "What are you talking about? You're the one at the shallow end of the gene pool!"

Sasuke shook his head. "Sadly, no. Look, Itachi. It's not my fault I'm 'bishi'. I blame mating."

"MATING?" Itachi shot in extremely close to Sasuke's face. "WHO HAVE YOU BEEN MATING WITH?"

Sasuke shook his head and held up his hands. "No! I mean Uchiha inbreeding! It's kind of like the Hyuugas, really, and anyone who looks at their clan can see the dangers of incest." He shivered. "And by the way, what's with all the sudden concern about how I live my life? You know, I wouldn't be this rebelious if I had some parenting. But, funny thing about parenting is you need parents, and seeing as you know all about that, I blame you for my troubles." He nodded.

Itachi's face fell. "And did you do that on purpose, oniisan? Did you just want nephews?" Sasuke asked.

Itachi shook his head. "No. I'm not that bad. And face it. I'm hotter. Deal with it. When you're older, maybe then you'll gather the hottness."

Sasuke pouted. "Well at least I don't have wrinkles!"

That shut Itachi up. "They-they're birth marks!"

Sasuke nodded. "I'm sure."

"Hey. You know, there was this one time that the Leader was drunk! We had to tie him to a chair. We threatened to get the duct tape." _Way to completely change topics, _Sasuke thought.

"Why not handcuffs? They're kinky. Neji had some at his party and…" he trailed off.

Itachi's face was livid. "WHAT DID YOU TWO DO? I'm definitely shapparoning!"

"No! It wasn't us! We didn't do anything!" Sasuke wanted to kick himself for mentioning it.

"How do I know that? How do you know that they're kinky?" He put a hand to his forehead. "Otouto! I never would have guessed! How am I supposed to ever trust you?"

Sasuke stared at Itachi, a look of disbelief on his face. "Between the two of us, whose been more trustworthy?" Itachi didn't answer. "Precisely. And I don't like men! I'm not gay!"

Itachi cuddled a pillow from the couch. "But you kissed Neji."

"And you kissed Orochimaru!"

Itachi hid in the pillow. "He kissed me, not the other way around, and that was disgusting! I was asleep. I was defenseless!"

Sasuke shrugged. "You two frenched! I was drunk, you were asleep. Blame Neji's sake obsession. I was brainless!"

Itachi pouted into the pillow. "Fine. This isn't the end of this!"

Sasuke waved his hand at him, getting up. "I'm going to bed. You can sleep here."

"What?" Itachi looked up from the pillow, his eyes huge. "You mean we're not sleeping in the same room?"

"Why should we? It's not like it's a sleepover. I mean, no offense, but I don't exactly like having sleepovers with people who killed my entire family."

"Not your entire," Itachi muttered. "And we have to sleep in the same room. Just like when we were little!"

"But why?" Sasuke asked, getting annoyed.

"Because you're so cute when you sleep!"

Sasuke stopped in his tracks. He remained silent for a moment and then, "Good NIGHT!" He slammed his door behind him.

"But you do," Itachi mumbled.

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AN: So that was a little pointless. Sorry. Starting in chapter five, the plot line actually starts to move. Sorry for the massive amounts of just talking here. It should get better. Please review! I'd love to hear your opinion on the Sasuke vs. Itachi argument that they have. It's just so hard to chose which one's better!

Reviews are an authoress's best friend!


	5. Thongs and Soap

AN: So the fifth chapter lives! Yay! I'm writing this really early in the morning. I apologize for any stupid plot point. And yes, I know it's a bit choppy, but that's because the Uchihas are random and like to change topics.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Wafflecrisp, or a thong. (Thank God!)

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Stretching, Sasuke got up from his futon and put on one of his old blue shirts and tan shorts. Sighing, he tied his headband on and slid open the door to his room. There was barely a gap big enough for him, but he just squeezed through.

Stepping out into the hallway, he heard something crunch. Leaning over, he picked up Itachi's latest note.

_Otouto,_

_The leader said that we have yet another mission to accomplish (stupid demons and their hosts….). I am really sorry if our plans are cut short today._

_I think I'm going to start being more careful around the Akatsuki place, because while I was asleep, a purple snake circled around me, and came really close to my face. _

_Orochimaru didn't hurt you did he? _

_Did you sleep well? And eat a balanced breakfast? Kisame and the rest of the Akatsuki say "Hi." But anyway, some day we need to hang out so we can work on our family bonding. Remember We're like brothers, only closer!_

_  
Love,_

_Nii-san_

Sasuke shivered and set the note right back down. Right then, he noticed the floor was shaking. Looking up slowly, he saw Itachi running at him. "BROTHER!" His eyes wide, Sasuke turned to run in the opposite direction. Itachi closed the gap between them in a few seconds and wrapped his arms around Sasuke.

"Brother! You're awake! Yay!" Itachi nuzzled Sasuke's hair.

"Let me go!" Sasuke struggled in Itachi's grip. However, finding that it was completely useless, he just allowed Itachi to nuzzle his hair.

Sasuke watched the hand on the clock tick slowly. "Um, oniisan? Can I go? You've been hugging me for five minutes."

Itachi smirked. "But I wuuuv my wittle bwother!" Sasuke sighed and swatted at Itachi's face. Itachi huffed and let him go.

"So what are we doing today, Sasuke? Where are we going? When are we going? What's going on?" Itachi followed Sasuke around as he made himself breakfast. Itachi was clearly a morning person.

Sasuke, however, wasn't. "Itachi, SHUT UP!" He took a sip of his juice. "Just speak normally."

Itachi sighed. "I want to _do _something today." He sat on the table. "What are we gonna do?"

Sasuke was doing his best not to chidori his own home. "We're going to go somewhere. Okay? Is that good enough?"

"Nooo!" Itachi was holding his knees and rocking back and forth. "We've gotta have a plan!"

_Why, Okami-sama? Why me? _Sasuke sighed. "Fine." He searched his brain for some idea. Suddenly, a few moments of his childhood came back to him. "You get to give me a piggyback ride today, oniisan," he informed Itachi.

"A…piggy…back…ride?" Itachi cocked his head to the side. "Isn't that a little old fashion?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Then I guess we're not doing anything today." Itachi pouted to himself and Sasuke smirked.

"Where're we going, though?" Itachi asked, taking a bite of Sasuke's food.

"To Neji's," Sasuke told him. "He's having a day-after-another-party-party."

Itachi smirked. "Sounds like he just wants to party. Who's going to be there?"

Sasuke stared at the ceiling. "Hm…Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, Hinata, Gaara, Temari, Shikamaru, Kankuro, you know, the usuals." He went back to naming names. "Kisame, Juraiya, Tobi, and I think Tsunade if I'm not mistaken." He smirked. "Neji's parties are epic."

Itachi's brow furrowed. "Kisame?"

Sasuke nodded. "He's one of the usuals. I thought he told you that."

"This is the first I've heard of it, although it does explain why he's always back so late."

Sasuke smiled. "So you stay up for him?"

Itachi shook his head. "No. He just always runs into something and it wakes me up. And him being my partner is just business."

Sasuke shrugged. "So the fish doesn't have good night vision. That's not his fault."

Itachi's gaze hardened a little. "He's always drunk."

"Don't know why that would be." Sasuke stood and set his dishes in the sink. Itachi remained on the table. Sighing, he looked up at where Sasuke was now washing his dishes. "Otouto, when is this party?"

Sasuke stared hard at a bit of food that wouldn't leave his plate. "I don't know. I just kind of show up. Neji never seems to mind. He's always busy getting things ready and an extra pair of hands doesn't hurt. Besides, if he wants all the party decorations to be the same, all I have to do is sharingan. He likes me for that." He kept scrubbing.

A silence filled the room. Sasuke looked up from his work to see Itachi sitting on the table facing him. He had the largest and scariest smile on his face Sasuke had ever seen. "Ano…oniisan?"

"He _likes _you?"

Sasuke could tell this wasn't going well. "Not like that." He decided to resort to threats. "And if you don't take me, I guess it'll just wind up being another game of 'Guess the Color of Neji's Thong.'"

"Okami-sama." Itachi shook his head, his eyes huge. "I'm definitely going now. You need a chaperone. But I'm not guessing the color of Neji's thong. Ever." He shuddered.

Sasuke smiled. "Let's go!"

Itachi shook his head. "Not now! I'm still eating." He moved over to the closet and pulled out a box of wafflecrisps. He poured himself of Sasuke's coffee.

"Where'd those come from?" Sasuke asked, pointing to the Wafflecrisps. "You could have told me you'd bought some!"

Itachi smiled. "But alas, otouto, I am evil." He smiled.

Sasuke sighed. "In that case, is there any way you can tell Tobi to come? He hasn't been showing up lately."

Itachi glanced up at the clock. "He's probably still asleep. Tobi sleeps in forever. It's quite annoying, really."

"Then have Deidara practice art in his room! Or whisper into his ear that he's a bad boy. Nightmares like that are bound to wake him up." Sasuke smirked.

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "I like your style, Sasuke. You're evil. I like that. You take after me."

"And that's a good thing?"

"Yes," Itachi replied, eating his Wafflecrisp.

Sasuke laughed. "It'd be cool if we were partners. We'd rock the Akatsuki with our Uchihotness. And eventually, it'd be 144 hours of happiness!"

Itachi laughed. "Well, if you wanted me to ask the leader…."

Sasuke nodded. "Sure. I could be Tobi's replacement. He's too much of a good boy anyway."

Itachi chewed his Wafflecrisp thoughtfully. "I don't know. Zetsu really wants Tobi to be in it. It'd be hard to convince one side of him, let alone both."

Sasuke smiled. "Fine. Then let me replace Tobi and spray Zetsu with Weed-Be-Gone."

Itachi fell off his chair. "I like that plan. It might work! You're good at this!"

Sasuke puffed out his chest proudly. "You'd better believe it!" Suddenly, his face fell. "Oh my God. Narutos' rubbing off on me! EW!" He ran over to the sink and started washing his tongue with soap. "EW EW EW!"

"Sasuke, Sasuke, STOP!" Itachi ran over and confiscated the soap. "You planning on washing everything off with soap?"

"Not just soap," Sasuke said, his tongue still white from the soap residue. "Lava."

Itachi started. "Let's change the subject." He put the soap in his robe. "Is there anything you want to know about me?"

Sasuke stared at him from under the faucet. Soap bubbles were forming as he washed off his tongue. "I diust abowt nah ebweetink." (I just about know everything.)

Itachi sighed. "There's nothing you want to know?"

Sasuke was towel drying his tongue. "No. I'm pretty good with my research." He took the towel away from his face. "You know, I am-" Suddenly, loud music filled the room, playing the Naruto "Avenger Theme." Sasuke struck a pose with the towel. "An Avenger!" Lights flashed behind him.

Itachi rolled his eyes as the music stopped playing. "Sure you are."

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AN: Yeah, so this chapter's a little weird. I feel bad for Sasuke and washing off his tongue. That's gotta taste so bad. Anyway, I really hope you're enjoying this so far. I know I'm enjoying writing it. It might seem a little pointless, but that's because it's like eight in the morning. Heh.

Please, please review!


	6. You're Dripping Angst

AN: So here's the sixth chapter. Yay. Anyway, I'm so thankful to everyone who's reviewed. It was like a massive random wave of reviews. So I hope you like this chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, anything to do with it, or Sasuke's couch.

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"But with the curse seal, I might beat you in strength." Sasuke flopped backwards onto his couch, watching Itachi.

Itachi laughed. "No, otouto. You will never surpass me. Ever."

Sasuke pushed some of his hair back. "But I really could. I mean, with the seal and Uchiha blood? I've got the sharingan, all I need is the mangekyou. So all I need is to make another friend that isn't possesed by a demon, not obsessed with being stronger than me, and not gay."

Itachi looked up from the carpet he had been picking at. "What? You're gay?"

"No!" 

"A killing, gay brother?"

Sasuke slapped his forehead. "No. I'm talking about Naru-crap."

"Who?" Itachi cocked his head to the side.

"Uzu-ucky Naru-crap. He's the one that's gay. I mean, he likes Sakura. Isn't that proof enough? Sakura's obviously a man. And not to mention that he glomped me." Sasuke shivered, sitting up. "_And _he's the leader of the 'UCHIHOT RABID FANGIRL CLUB OF RABIDNESS!!!!!©' That means he's rabid for you, too. Makes you think twice about attacking him, doesn't it?"

"What? Wait. Naruto's after me now?" Itachi asked, sitting on his knees.

"Yeah." Sasuke waved his hand. "I don't really know. He said something about wanting to repopulate the clan."

"MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!" Itachi jumped to his feet, his eyes flashing to their mangekyou state. "I'LL KILL HIM!" Suddenly, Itachi swayed a bit. "I've got to stop doing that. I'll strain my eyes too much." He slumped back down. "Tobi always tells the leader, and then that gets annoying."

Sauke picked at a speck on the couch. "Tobi taught Neji everything he knows." He shrugged. "Just felt like saying so."

Itachi furrowed his brow. "Wait. You mean he didn't learn from you?" Sasuke shook his head. "Why not?"

"Too advanced." Sasuke flicked the speck across the room.

Itachi shook his head. "If mother and father saw you now…" he trailed off.

Sasuke shot up. "Mother! Father!" His eyes glazed over as he drifted into the past. Suddenly, he was brought back to the present. "They're gone!" He turned on Itachi, his sharingan on. "_And it's all your fault!_"

Itachi shrugged. "Had to see how strong I was. And they were all that were left."

Suddenly, Sasuke fell off the couch, kneeling and with his hands clasped. "Why couldn't you have killed me, too?" His arm flew to his forehead in an angsty pose.

Itachi smirked. "Because you were too young and your hatred could have grown."

"Why not just end the clan at once?"

Itachi shook his head, standing. "It's too late now, brother."

"NO!" Sasuke flung forward and grabbed the bottom of Itachi's robe. "It's not! Just do it now! End my existance! I will fight you until I die if you refuse to kill me!"

Itachi tried to pull his robe back from Sasuke. "Sasuke, please! You're dripping angst on the carpet. Besides, your hatred isn't strong enough! And don't you want to go to Neji's party?"

Sasuke paused. "Yeah, you're right. We'll save my destruction for afterwards." He stood, brushing angst off of himself.

Itachi smirked. "I'm your ride there."

"Hey, oniisan. Question." Sasuke turned to Itachi. "What's with the nail polish?"

Itachi glanced down at his perfect purple manicure. "It's an Akatsuki thing. It helps us find each other. Kind of like a tracking devise."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "But again, why purple? Do the others even use purple?"

Itachi nodded. "Yeah. I know, because I painted theirs once. We had a nail painting party."

Out of topics, Sasuke's mind reverted back to the discussion of Itachi and Orochimaru's kiss. He smiled a devious smile. "ITACHI AND OROCHI SITTING IN A TREE!" He ran at Itachi.

"AH!" Itachi plugged his ears.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G! FIRST COMES LOVE! THEN COMES MARRIAGE! THEN COMES KISAME TO GET BACK HIS ITACHI!"

Itachi scowled at Sasuke. "Kisame and I _are not gay!_"

"Doesn't mean he doesn't like you." Sasuke smirked to himself.

"I wouldn't know, seeing as I'm not Kisame." Itachi pondered to himself. "But he has been clingy lately."

Sasuke smiled. "So mangekyou him into telling you."

Itachi smiled. "I think I will. Wait here." In a puff of smoke, Itachi disappeared, transporting himself to the Akatsuki headquarters.

"Makes you wonder why he bothers walking," Sasuke muttered to himself. He waited for Itachi to return, putting the pillows back on the couch. Just as he was replacing the last one, he heard another puff behind him. "Itach-" He was suddenly hugged by his older brother.

"SASUKE!" Itachi wailed, holding him tightly. Sasuke noticed he was sobbing.

"What is it?"

Itachi shook, tears streaming down his face. "Orochimaru was at the hide out! He just…tied me down to a chair…and started…making out with me! And he almost….molested me! Then….he pinched my sides…got my mouth opened….and in went his tongue! I'm scarred for life!" He let out a huge sob.

Sasuke vomitted in his mouth, but he let Itachi hug him. "It's alright. It'll be okay…."

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AN: So that's the best point I could find to end that chapter. The next ones will be a bit longer, as I realized I'm on document two of thirty that I still need to write. Anyway, I'm really, really thankful to everyone who reviewed! Your words are so great!

Thank you!


	7. COFFEE CAPS LOCK FEVER!

A/N: Hey all! Sorry it took me so unbelievably long to update. I hope you didn't think I'd abandoned you! I was just on vacation and such things like that. You've got to love it when there's no computers around. Ug. Anyway, here's the seventh chapter, and I'm sure you'll find it just as stupid as the rest, if not worse. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any "little pieces of Narutard." (especially the floating kind.)

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"There, there, oniisan." Sasuke pet Itachi's hair. "You know what will make this all better?"

"Wh-What?" Itachi asked through sobs.

"Coffee."

Itachi released Sasuke and gave him an odd look. "What do you mean? How will that make this any better?" But Sasuke had already gone into the kitchen to make some.

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"COFFEE'S READY!" Sasuke yelled from the kitchen. Itachi poked his head in. "You ready, oniisan?"

Itachi nodded. "I just finished washing out my mouth. I should be better now." Suddenly, a large mug full of steaming hot coffee went flying towards Itachi's head. He had to reach up quite suddenly to stop it from slopping down his robes. "What was that for?" he asked Sasuke.

"C-C-COFFEE!" Sasuke's eyes were dilated and his hands were shaking.

"Oh no."

"ISN'T THIS GREAT, ONIISAN? DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT WHEN YOU DRINK COFFEE?" Sasuke twitched as he spoke.

"Sasuke, you're too young for coffee. Give it back."

"NO I'M NOT!" Sasuke grinned maniacally. He laughed and ran out the door. Itachi started after him, but suddenly a series of noises reached him. They sounded precisely like this:

"BAMM!!!! SCREEEEECH! CHIRP CHIRP x1000! OWAA! CHIDORI! RASENGAN! AHH! AHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" and were finished off with one final "BOOM!"

Suddenly, Sasuke burst back through the door.

"Otoutosan! What just happened?" Itachi asked, standing up in alarm.

Sasuke took a deep breath and proceeded to explain.

--Flashback--

"NO I'M NOT!" Sasuke ran out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, he heard a scream. "SASUKE! I FINALLY FOUND YOU, DATEBAYO!"

Sasuke twitched as he saw Naruto come closer. "Hahahaha!" he laughed. "Naruto! Hahaha!" He picked up Naruto and tossed him in the street.

A car had to avoid running Naruto over, thus providing a large screeching noise as it swerved.

Naruto got to his feet. "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR, DATEBAYO?"

"You are a STALKER!" Sasuke yelled at him, his right eye twitching.

"AM NOT!" Naruto yelled back, crossing his arms.

"And GAY!"

Naruto didn't seem to say anything. Suddenly, Sasuke pulled back his arm, filling the air with many a chirping bird. "CHIDORI!" He ran at Naruto.

"OWAA!" Naruto flew through the air, only just recovering himself. "YOU'RE GONNA REGRET THAT, DATEBAYO!" He held his hand out in front of him. "RASENGAN!" He began running at Sasuke.

Sasuke smirked, powered up his chidori, and ran at Naruto. "AHH!"

"AHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

"BOOM!" The noise filled the area, and Sasuke looked down to see Naruto. Naruto staggered and spontaneously combusted.

--End Flashback--

"And that's how it all happened." Sasuke smirked, a satisfied look on his face.

Itachi nodded, still staring at Sasuke, as he poured all the coffee down the sink. "So Naruto is no more?"

"Yup! There are little pieces of Narutard floating from the heavens. He is no more! THE PLAGUE IS DONE!" Sasuke twitched and snorted.

Itachi shook his head. "You know, Deidara might be coming over some time. He wanted me to paint his nails for him again. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not," Sasuke replied, the coffee beginning to wear off. "Deidara isn't bad looking."

A silence filled the room.

"I-uh-mean-uh…I don't mind Deidara. He's a wonderful chap."

Itachi just stared at Sasuke. "You're SO gay!"

"SO NOT!" Sasuke whipped a pillow at Itachi's head. "You are! Just ask Kisame! And Deidara!" His expression softened. "Deidara's shmexy." Alarmed, Sasuke shook his head. "Blame the coffee. Blame the coffee. I wonder if Neji spiked it?" He started examining his coffee.

"Oh!" Itachi glanced at a clock. "Aren't you supposed to be at the party?"

"Well I would," Sasuke replied. "But I HAVE NO RIDE!"

"Clean your room. Then I'll give you a ride."

Sasuke sighed and slumped over. "Do I have to?"

"Yes." Itachi had a very stern look on his face.

"You haven't even seen my room. How do you know it's a mess-"

"JUST CLEAN!" Itachi stood up and walked over towards Sasuke. "NOW!"

Turning around, Sasuke mumbled to himself. "Oniisan baka desu…"

"SASUKE! IF YOU CALL ME AN IDIOT AGAIN I WILL MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN YOUR LITTLE BUTT!"

Sasuke smirked, turning to face Itachi. "Oh! So you look at my butt enough to know that it's little. I must say, oniisan, that is very, very wrong." He shook his head, running into his room for safety.

"MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!" But Sasuke was already cleaning.

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A/N: Okay, sorry for massive amounts of caps lock. As my friend says, caps lock is cruise control for cool. Yeah. Not really. Anyway, I'll try to update, but I'm going to be quite involved in devouring the seventh Harry Potter book once it comes out. But, after that's done, I promise I'll update.

Please review! I love it when you do!


	8. A Mission and a Clone

A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. Anyway, I won't be able to update for about a week. I'm going to band camp, so I won't have time. But when I get back, there will be more insanity! Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any form of Itachi twins. (Unfortunately.)

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"Hey, Sasuke!" Itachi called from the kitchen. He was eating a snack of Wafflecrisp and was annoyed to be interrupted.

"What?" Sasuke yelled from the confines of his room.

"You just got a call from Neji. He wants to know if you're coming." Itachi held the phone in his hand, his fingers over the receiver.

"Whoops." Itachi heard something crack from Sasuke's room. "Tell him I'm coming, and that I'll bring the handcuffs if he wanted."

"Okay, I'll-WHAT?" Itachi slammed the phone down and stormed towards Sasuke's room.

"Nothing! Nothing!" Sasuke stepped out of his room quickly, closing the door behind him. "Let's get going, eh?"

Itachi eyed his brother suspiciously. "Are you done cleaning?" Sasuke nodded. "Good." Itachi patted him on the head. "We can go to Neji's then."

Sasuke squeaked and smiled. "Then let's GOOO!" He grabbed Itachi's hand and started to run towards the door.

Itachi stayed where he was. "I'm sorry, Sasuke, but I can't go."

Sasuke turned around, his eyes huge and sad. "Why, oniisan?"

"I have a mission." Itachi looked down, away from Sasuke's eyes. "I just got a notice not too long ago." He tried to cheer Sasuke up. "But the rest of the Akatsuki will be there! And I'll be back tomorrow. And I promise I'll go to Neji's next party."

Sasuke looked down. "Fine."

"Listen, otoutosan." Itachi looked at Sasuke. "Be careful around Zetsu. Make sure he doesn't get too hungry. He'll eat you and everyone else."

Sasuke looked up then, smiling. "So I shouldn't stick bologne on me, put Cheetos in my ears and run around yelling, 'I'm hot, fresh, and edible?'"

Itachi smirked. "No. Don't do that." He turned to leave. "And don't drink any coffee or alchohol."

"Well then you'd better eat a balanced breakfast!" Sasuke shot back.

"I am. I'm packing Wafflecrisps in my bag." Itachi shook his head. Turning to Sasuke, he hugged him. "Have fun. But not too much fun." He opened the door. "And one more thing. No kissing boys!" He closed the door.

"Takes all the fun out of it…." Sasuke grumbled to himself, and started getting ready for Neji's.

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"Sasuke! I'm home!" Itachi burst through the door, looking around the apartment. Suddenly, Sasuke's head popped out from the kitchen.

"Wait. What?" Sasuke looked thoroughly puzzled. "Oh my gosh! What happened to you?"

Itachi looked down at his bleeding side. "Oh. Got ambushed. Didn't go too well. I'm not that bad, though."

Sasuke shook his head and walked up to his brother. "You're bleeding on my rug." He glanced at Itachi's eyes. "You mangekyoued them like 101736 times, didn't you?"

Itachi looked down at his feet. Deciding to change the subject, he started on a different area. "So how was Neji's party?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Neji's party. Wow. Where to begin?" Suddenly, a crash came from the kitchen.

"What was that?" Itachi asked, trying to look around Sasuke.

Sasuke smirked. "Itachi's here."

Itachi furrowed his brow. "Yeah, I'm here."

Sasuke shook his head. "No. Itachi ani-san is here. You're oniisan. He doesn't eat a balanced breakfast. I hate him."

Itachi was thoroughly confused. Sasuke continued to explain. "You're gay for Kisame, he's not."

Itachi turned red. "I'M NOT GAY WITH KISAME!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"DON'T ARGUE WITH YOUR OLDER BROTHER!"

"ONIISAN NO BAKA!" 

"I'LL MANGEKYOU YOUR ASS!" Itachi fumed, staring Sasuke down.

"That's not nice," Sasuke complained.

"That's right. I was up all night. I have the right to be not nice," Itachi snarled. "And how _was _the party? Don't change the subject. What did you or didn't you do? Did you drink? Did you kiss a guy? Did you tell everyone that I say hi? Did you take pictures?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Neji's thong was red last night. I guessed it, of course. Let's see," he thought back. "I could relay the details of Seven Minutes in Heaven to you. As I've said before, Neji REALLY looks like a girl..." he trailed off.

Itachi was about to respond when the other Itachi made a loud crunching noise. "Wait a minute," Itachi said. "He's eating my Wafflecrisp!" He shoved past Sasuke into the kitchen. Sure enough, there sat another Itachi, a vacant and slightly evil look on his face and the box of Wafflecrisp in his hand.

"Um…." Sasuke stalled. "Talk to Itachi." He sat down on the couch. "As one of you is a clone."

"I'm the real Itachi," Itachi said. "You know that. Don't you know your own brother?"

"No!" the second Itachi responded. "I own you because I kill people!"

"As do I," replied the first Itachi.

"MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!" The second Itachi used his mangekyou. "MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN! MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!"

"MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!" The first Itachi countered with his own. "MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN! MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!"

Sasuke, who had been sitting comfortably on the couch up until now had his legs drawn up to his chest. "SO MUCH DESTRUCTION!" Two of the mangekyous were accidentally shot at him. "Oh crap."

"That's 144 hours," the second Itachi said.

"Yes, I'm glad you know your math," responded the first.

"So how do we torture him?" asked the second.

"So many ways," replied the first.

"NOT THE THONG! ANYTHING BUT THE THONG!" Sasuke yelled, flailing madly.

"Sasuke! I thought you were straight!" yelled the first one.

"I AM! THAT'S WHY I DON'T WANT IT!" Sasuke shouted.

The first Itachi rolled his eyes. "Alright. I'm rescuing you an putting a shadow clone in your place. Silly goose."

Sasuke looked up to see a sea of people before him. All with pink hair. There were billions of Sakura, making their way towards him.

"Oh, f-"

Suddenly, Sasuke was mauled by a Naruto clone. He blinked, and was surprisingly back in his living room on his couch. His eyes fell on the second Itachi.

"Yo! My name's Sasuke I'm an Uchiha. Don't you get too close cuz you know that I'm hot. Itachi killed the clan but you know that's no problem, but if they attack you know he will stop them. Take it ITACHI!" He directed this at the second one.

"I'm Itachi, the master of your demise. Keep your eyes down, don't look in my eyes. Fighting with swords, no that's not my style. Look into my eyes and you'll be there for a while! Yo! Yo!"

"Yo!" Sasuke joined in.

"U-chi-ha-rap!" they both shouted.

"That's were you made your mistake, you imposter!" the first Itachi shouted, pointing at the second. "I don't rap!"

The second Itachi cocked his head to the side. "I'm confused. And sad. What did I do wrong?"

"Wow. Brothers fighting. What a drag." Sasuke looked out the window at the clouds. 

"What?" the first Itachi asked.

Sasuke noticed what he was doing and blushed. "Sorry. I hung around Shikamaru a lot yesterday. You don't get to know the details."

Itachi stared at him for a second and started hitting his head on the wall. "I…am…so…confused!"

"I JUST WANT TO LOVE EVERYONE!" The outburst came from the second Itachi, startling the other two. "I LOVE YOU!" He rushed over to the first Itachi.

"You are soooo not me." The first Itachi looked down at the second with disgust.

Sasuke looked jealous. "But you give _me _piggyback rides, ani-san!"

The second Itachi looked around. "I got hit by some weird jutsu thing," he covered. "I LOVE YOU!" He ran towards Sasuke.

"It wasn't a jutsu." The first Itachi rolled his eyes. "It was a sword."

"Oh!" Sasuke smirked. "Kinky!" 

"No!" The second Itachi yelled. "I got hit by some weird jutsu that makes me love everyone!" He clung to Sasuke.

"Ow! Get off, Itachi!" Sasuke yelled. Suddenly, he was smothered by affection and Itachi's butt.

"In goes the sake!" yelled the second Itachi, pouring a bottle of sake down Sasuke's throat. "Hope you like it!"

The first Itachi looked horrified.

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A/N: And you all thought we were going to Neji's party! Not yet! And I'm sorry for the awkward ending, but my sister's kicking me off the computer.

Anyway, please review!


	9. Sake and a Whole Bunch of Chirping Birds

A/N: So I'm sorry for not updating for a long time. School started up and with marching band sucking away my soul, I ran out of time. Anyway, I managed to find a few spare hours to write this for you. I hope you enjoy it! It's kinda short. Sorry.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I do have a bottle of sake!

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"Love potion!" the second Itachi exclaimed as he poured the sake down Sasuke's throat. Sasuke twitched and tried to shove him off, but it was no use.

The first (and real) Itachi sighed and watched. Eventually, the second (and fake) Itachi got off of him and allowed him to stand up.

To Sasuke, however, the world was spinning. Grabbing the couch for support, he turned to the first Itachi. "Yello Hitachi!"

Itachi sighed and turned to his brother. "What happened to you?"

"I hjust ahad sum yummi stuof frum aniii-sannnnnn." He giggled. "Yummmmmy sakeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

The first Itachi glanced at him, sighed again, and turned to leave. Suddenly, Sasuke shot forward, grabbing his brother's ponytail. "Hey! ONIISAN! You're an oneesan! You look like a girl! Like this hot Hyuuga with long brown hair!" He giggled again. "I wanna snooooooog yooooooooooooouuuu!" Sasuke fell to the ground, giggling and still holding Itachi's ponytail.

"OW!" Itachi was jerked down by Sasuke. "Just so you know, I'm secretly recording this so you won't be able to deny anything you just said."

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Sasuke fell over, letting go of Itachi's ponytail. "You're recording this. FOR YOU LOVER! Hahaha! Orochimaru! Hahaha!" He hiccuped.

Itachi rolled his eyes. "I told you not to drink."

Sasuke laughed. "I fink Hitachi's dwunk, too!"

Itachi turned to his brother slowly. "Stupid….foolish….little….BROTHER!"

"Oneesan!" Sasuke clung to Itachi again. "My older sister! Okasan! Mother!" He hugged Itachi harder.

"I am neither your sister nor your mother. Try brother." Itachi tried to free himself from Sasuke's grip.

Sasuke snuggled against Itachi. "Whant sum sakkkkkeeeee fwom Neji?"

Itachi glared at him. "No. I don't want to end up like you. Ever."

Sasuke pouted for a second, and then his features lit up. "But you and kissssssssssss…." He trailed off, giggling. "Kisssss…." He laughed again. "Kisssssame! Your LOVBER!"

Itachi shook his head. "Kisame's not my lover. And if you don't stop this now, no more piggy back rides."

Sasuke stopped and gave him a look of horror. "NOOOOOO!" Leaning back, Sasuke fell into a pit of despair.

Itachi watched him fall, a vacant expression on his face.

"I'll gib you rides!" Sasuke said from the pit. "And hugs! It's nbot my fauwlt he gave me sakkkeeeee!" Sasuke pointed at the second Itachi who was standing idly by. "Damn him!" Reaching down to grasp his hand, Sasuke's arm began to errupt with blue, squeaking Chakra.

Itachi watched as Sasuke started a drunken Chidori. "This can't end well." He ran out of the way as Sasuke dashed forward. "GOD DAMMIT, SASUKE! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!"

Sasuke stopped and looked at his brother. "What?"

"You're drunk!"

"What?"

"Knock it off!"

"No I'm bnot," Sasuke said defiantly.

"Yes, you are."

"Noooooooooooooooooo!" Sasuke protested like a toddler.

"You said so yourself!" Itachi said. "I think I'm going to ban you from Neji's parties! No more parties."

"NOOOO!" Sasuke whined, looking at Itachi. "I'll do my pouty face! I will! I will!"

"You're drunk, Sasuke." Itachi sighed. "And it'll mess up your life. Why do you think Tobi is the way he is?"

"And you would know a lot about messing up lives," Sasuke said, his face suddenly going dark.

"Yes. I would. Concidering I killed MOTHER AND FATHER!" Itachi yelled, watching Sasuke back down. "I KILLED THEM! KILLED! KILLED! KILLED! SLAUGHTERED!"

"No! No killing!" Sasuke fell to his knees. "NOO! MOTHER! FATHER! NOOO!" He spun around to look at Itachi, his face murderous. Once again, the room filled with the sound of a Chidori as Sasuke powered his up.

"Do you really want to do that?" Itachi asked calmly.

"B….but you killed mother and father," Sasuke reasoned.

"I had to see how strong I was." Itachi wasn't looking at Sasuke anymore.

"SO!? ATTACK AN EFFING MANICAN! NOT THE CLAN!" Sasuke yelled. "Not your own! Kill the Hyuugas if you must! They're easy! In more than one way."

"WHAT??" Now it was Itachi's turn to give a death glare. Sasuke shook his head. "Fine. I forgive you. I still love you, otoutosan." Sasuke turned away. "And I have a mission tomorrow. I'll be back around seven. Alright? I love you!" He kissed Sasuke on the cheek and Sasuke faked vomitting.

"Goodbye, Sasuke." Itachi smiled and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

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A/N: So that was chaotic. Sorry for the random winding down. I just couldn't figure out how to end it. Anyways, the next few chapters will still be a comedy, but I'm realizing it's kind of a drama comedy. What ever.

Reviews are my best friend!


	10. Portable Nurses

A/N: So I got more time to update! Yayz! And now, this takes its almost drama turn. This is quite an odd fic. Sorry. First it's emo unicorns, and now it's hospitals. Anyway, please enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any portable nurses.

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Sasuke yawned and opened his door. He stepped out into hallway, only to hear another all-too-familiar crunch. "What now?" he asked, bending down to pick up the note.

_Little brother,_

_I just got home...from my mission...my wound re-opened...and it's bleeding bad..really bad. And I really overused my eyes...I can't use my sharingan anymore..and not for a while. So yeah. I was in the middle of a battle and I used my Mongekyou Sharingan and...the next thing I know..I'm bleeding from my previous wound and I'm bleeding from my back as well. Then I couldn't open my eyes and then Zetsu (my partner in my mission) helped me walk home. I can open my eyes now, but I can't use my Mongekyou Sharingan for a long time._

_So ...I'm sorry little brother. I don't know how long I will not be able to give you piggy backs, but I will try. But please understand if I have to put you down or I say 'no.' _

_I will be able to talk the rest of the day. Hug. I wuv you._

_  
Sasuke, I just find out that I'm going to be in the hospital because my injuries are so horrible.  
I will still be able to talk._

_  
I love you._

_  
And I'm sorry, but I will only be in the hospital over night._

_  
__ W__ell, I'm at the hospital. It's not serious, but im gonna be in there overnight._

_  
__ 3333  
_

_I'm sorry, otouto._

_  
Brother, if I'm not there when you are, it's because the doctors are looking at me (not like that). And while I'm here, I'm trusting you to keep Orochimaru away from me._

_Love,_

_Itachi_

As Sasuke's eyes traveled down the paper, he got more and more concerned. When he read the part about Orochimaru, he uttered "Done and done," aloud without realizing.

When he was done reading, Sasuke dropped the note, and teleported in a poof of smoke to the hospital. Ignoring the nurses, he made his way towards the room Itachi's chakra was coming from.

Bursting in, Sasuke looked upon his brother and launched into a speech. "Oh, poor oniisan! I lament for you and your horrible wounds. Please get better. I shall find whoever attacked you and I shall Chidori them, for I am an avenger." The Avenger music played in the background. "Remember to eat a balanced meal, as it will help you with your wounds. Be good. Get better. Understood? Good."

It was then Sasuke realized Itachi was unconscious and he had wasted his words on nothing.

Falling forward onto his knees and so his arms were on the bed, Sasuke started clutching the sheets. "Oniisan! Don't die on me! If you do, I'll be SO SAD! I shall cry forever! Your otoutosan looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooves you!"

At the end of Sasuke's outburst, Itachi twitched. "Oniisan!" Sasuke yelled, jumping on the bed like he was trying to wake Itachi up for school. "You're up!"

"Thank you for that speech, Sasuke. Just please don't lean on my side." Sasuke shifted himself, noticing that Itachi's eyes were black instead of their normal Sharingan.

"I'll be alright," Itachi reassured him. "It just hurts a lot, but I'm on medication for that." He smiled slightly.

"You're going to be alright? You promise you won't die?" Sasuke asked again, his eyes growing huge.

"Yes," Itachi said again. "The doctors bandaged me up. I'm better, or at least I'm getting better. I'm not gonna die." He leaned forward and hugged Sasuke. "I'm sorry, Sasuke." 

At this, Sasuke tried to pull away, but he had forgotten how strong Itachi was, and was stuck halfway between a hug and running. "I'm so sorry! I wasn't strong enough and I made you worry!"

"It's fine, oniisan," Sasuke responded, patting Itachi's head. "I'd rather you not be strong enough. Last time you were, you killed off the entire clan."

"But I'm not strong enough."

Sasuke pulled away and puzzled for a bit. "Maybe it's your hate that's not strong enough."

Itachi shook his head. "No. The flu's been going around the Akatsuki. But you're right. If I was feeling well, I'd be killing people."

Sasuke made a mental note to not let Itachi get stronger.

"It'll be a while, but I'll be stronger again."

Sasuke made another mental note to get stronger before Itachi did.

"But I know I'll be here again tomorrow." Itachi was still speaking. "Leader's got three more missions for me this week."

"Ho no," Sasuke stated firmly. "No more missions for you, little mister. Call them off for sake not dying of bloodloss."

Itachi shook his head. "But I have to go on the mission."

Sasuke looked at him pityingly. "How can you go on a mission when you're blind, bleeding from the side and back, and can't use the Mangekyou?"

"If the leader said I have to go on a mission, I have to go," Itachi responded, sitting up against a pillow.

"If the leader said to jump off a cliff, would you?" Sasuke mumbled to himself. "You shouldn't go. You're gonna die."

"No, I'm not," Itachi protested, but Sasuke had already clung to Itachi's leg.

"Yes you areeeeeeeee! You're gonna diiiiiiiiieeeee! I just know it! Then I'll be avengeless! WAHHH!" He cried like a toddler.

"SASUKE!" Itachi pushed at his brother, trying to pry him from his leg. "I won't die!"

Sasuke looked up, sniffling. "Realllllllly? Promissssssse?"

Itachi rolled his eyes. "Would you like to stay in the hospital with me tonight? I'm sure I can get you a bed."

"SURE!" Sasuke yelled, sitting up. "I'll just get myself hurt, and we can be roomies! Oh, Naruto! Oh, Orochimaru!"

"Stop that!" Itachi biffed Sasuke around the head. "Ouch!" Itachi cluched his side.

"NO PAIN FOR MY ITACHI!" Sasuke attempted to attach himself to Itachi again, but he had moved.

"Just stay here and be good, okay?" Itachi asked, getting up.

"Fine!" Sasuke replied, smiling. "Sasuke is a good boy!"

Itachi chuckled, patted Sasuke's head, and gave him a cookie. "Yes you are. Now stay here while I get a nurse. She'll watch over you. I don't need to be worrying about you when I'm on these missions." He rand his hand through his hair. "Don't even join the Akatsuki."

"But I thought you offered me a spot?" Sasuke asked, rolling around on Itachi's bed.

"Yeah. Leader said you can join, but I don't want you to. Just my protective older brother side kicking in. I don't want you to end up like me."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You didn't really care for my other childhood experiances before, now did you? It doesn't matter."

Itachi shook his head. "Fine. The Leader said you'll be my partner for a while, too. And I've got your robe (in midnight black) and straw hat (in goldenrod) and ring (in a random color), too." Suddenly, Itachi fell over on the bed, clutching his side. "OW! PAIN! LOTS OF PAIN!" He started rolling around on the bed.

"Oniisan!" Sasuke shot up, looking around for something to help him. He grabbed a pillow and started hitting him with it as if it was shock paddles. "LIVE!"

"AHH!" Itachi grabbed the pillow and the blanket and started rolling around in them.

"Itachi! This is no time for a Moulin Rouge refrence!" Sasuke ran around the bed, trying to help. Then, suddenly, Itachi went still, his eyes closed.

Sasuke looked over at him. "DEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAADDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!"

Itachi opened one eye and looked at Sasuke. "Sasuke, come here." He grabbed Sasuke's hand and squeezed it. "I think it was just the meds acting up. Go get me a nurse."

Sasuke wiped away his tears and nodded. Focusing the chakra in his feet, he took off through the door. "NURSE! NURSE! NURSE!" He ran as if he was on fire. "NURSSEEEEE!" He found a nurse, standing and looking quite bewildered in the hallway.

"Nurse!" Sasuke bent over, picked her up, and ran towards Itachi's room. "MAKE WAY!" He burst through the door. "ONIISAN! A NURSE!" He deposited the nurse on the ground next to him.

The nurse looked at Sasuke. "Wtf?"

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A/N: sorry for abrupt ending. I'm supposed to be doing homework. I'll try to update soon! Please review!


	11. Mortally Wounded Oniisan

A/N: Sooooooooo sorry that I took so long to update. I was dealing with Marching Band, school, and everything else. But now I'm sick, so I have time to write! Yay!

Alright, so I've got to point out before this chapter that the conversation this is based off of took place before we knew who Pein was or what he looked like. So please forgive all the "the leader" ness. Other than that, this chapter's not as funny. Just setting up plot, I guess. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or a mortally wounded Itachi. (Which I guess is both a good thing and a bad thing, as he'd bleed all over the carpet and the dog, but I'd get to nurse him back to health….Hmm…decisions, decisions….)

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Itachi layed on his bed, breathing shallowly. Sasuke whipped around to face the nurse. "N-n-nurse! Help him!"

The nurse was obviously afraid of Sasuke. "Y-yes, sir."

"Sa…suke?" Itachi mumbled, barely able to get the word past his lips.

"Itachi-san?" The nurse asked, trying to see if he was even close to being conscious.

"Yes?" Sasuke shoved the nurse out of the way. "What is it, oniisan?"

"Thank…you…." With that, Itachi's eyes closed and he slumped back, unconscious from the loss of blood. This, of course, caused Sasuke to go insane.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Snarling, he fell to his knees, clutching his head as if he wanted to tear it off.

"Um…Itachi-san?" The nurse asked, sidestepping Sasuke and staring at him with concern. "Can you hear me?" This received a moan from Itachi. "He's unconcious."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Itachi moved his head slightly, and the nurse perked up. "Wait! I think he's responding! Are you in pain?" She spoke slowly and deliberately. Itachi nodded and started rolling over. "Uh…um…Is it your side?"

Sasuke, who was crying quite pathetically on the floor, looked up with tearful eyes and asked very dramatically, "Is it your heart?"

Itachi nodded feebly in response. "And my left lung. It hurts a lot."

"He needs medical attention!" The nurse shouted. ("No shit, nurse lady.") "Go get a doctor!"

Sasuke turned to leave, but stopped as Itachi grabbed his hand. "Sasuke…listen to me…I need you to be strong. Get the rest of the Akatsuki…and tell them I sent you…"

Sasuke's eyes filled with tears. "But oniisan! You'll live through this!"

"…H…urry..."

"A-alright!" With a look of determination in his eyes, Sasuke turned, concentrated all his chakra into his feet, and took off at a rediculous speed.

------

"Akatsuki…Akatsuki…" Sasuke glanced around. "It would help if I knew where they were."

Just then, Sasuke spotted a road sign.

_Suna: 167 miles_

_Akatsuki Secret Hideout: ½ mile_

Completely baffled, Sasuke made his way in the direction the sign indicated, finally arriving at the hideout.

"AKATSUKI MEMBERS! ASSEMBLE!"

"What are you doing here?" Kisame walked out from behind the wall to a cave, glaring at Sasuke. "Where the hell's Itachi-san?"

"Itachi sent me!" Sasuke proclaimed. "He's in grave danger! He's in the hospital! (That's like the Fish Doctor, but for humans.)"

"Itachi-san…in the hospital…" Kisame seemed lost in a shocked daze.

"YES!" Sasuke replied, shaking the shark.

"I understand." Kisame looked directly at Sasuke's eyes.

"Where are the rest of the Akatsuki?" Sasuke asked, looking around the room he now noticed was abandoned. "We NEED TO SAVE HIM!"

"You go back to your brother, and I'll get the rest of them," Kisame replied, shifting the sword on his fishy back.

"Alright. Get them quickly." Sasuke turned to leave.

"I will. I promise." With this reassurance, Sasuke took off back to Itachi's side.

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"Oniisan! I told them, and Kisame's bringing the rest of the Akatsuki!"

"Thank you, Sasuke," Itachi managed out. Reaching up, he grabbed his hand. "Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?" He looked very concerned.

"Yes. I'm fine." Sasuke glanced at where a pool of blood was coming from, his thoughts uneasy.

"That's…good…"

"What we should be worrying about now is you." Sasuke glanced down at the blood again. A few moments passed without a response. "Itachi?" Itachi was now turned away, and upon closer inspection, was shaking and covered in goosebumps.

"So…cold…"

"ONIISAN!"

"We're here." The leader stepped into the room, then noticed Itachi. "Itachi! What the hell happened to you?"

"You." Sasuke turned to face the leader, his gaze murderous. "You forced him into so many missions that he was bound to get hurt! It's all your fault!"

"Sasuke…come here…" Itachi moaned. When Sasuke obeyed, Itachi clutched his hand, Sasuke then clutching Itachi's, and continued. "Look, I know that you don't want to…but if you join the Akatsuki, you'll have to do what this man says…even if you don't want to."

"But oniisan! He ultimately killed you!"

"I know…I know," Itach's voice was barely a whisper.

Sasuke started crying. "Oniiiiiiisan!"

"Shh…shh…" Itachi patted Sasuke's back. He pulled Sasuke into a tight embrace. "It's okay. I'm fine…just got a fever…shhhh." Sasuke sobbed into Itachi's shirt.

The rest of the Akatsuki stared at Itachi and Sasuke as if they had both suddenly turned into pinky fluffy bunnies and had attempted to eat the nurses.

"Don't die on me, brother! I c-can't be the last U-U-Uchiha!" He was near hysterics by this point, and the Akatsuki members shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm not going to die," Itachi responded, trying to save his paper gown from total anihilation due to Sasuke's tears.

"Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not lying."

The leader decided this was a perfect moment to break the awkward atmosphere. "You know you still have to do your assignments for the rest of the week, right?"

"Yes, I know that, Leader. I will do my best." Itach pet Sasuke's hair as Sasuke turned to hiss at the Leader.

"YOU WILL DO MORE THAN YOUR BEST!" The leader shouted, gesturing for the Akatsuki to leave.

"He's dying and you still remind him of assignments?" Sasuke was livid now, all his tears gone.

The leader turned to give him a cruel look. "Yes."

"You bastard!" Sasuke tore away from Itachi, firing up his Chidori, but as he moved, the leader disappeared. "DAMN HIM!" Sasuke turned, Chidoriing the wall.

Itachi, gathering all the strength he could, managed to sit up and yell, "SASUKE! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" Sasuke was breathing heavily, facing away from him, but apparently listening. "Sasuke, do me a favor."

"What, brother?" The anger was evident in his voice as he spoke to the wall.

"When you do eventually hit him with the Chidori, hit him with twice as much power, will you?" Itachi smirked.

"Will do." Sasuke turned back to Itachi, back to his normal, worrying self. "But are you okay, brother?"

"Yes. I just need rest." Itachi reached over and fluffed his pillow, lying back on it contentedly.

"I promise you, I'll kill that stupid leader." Sasuke turned to face the wall again, his angst back with a vengeance over his revenger head.

"Don't kil him. We need him. Just hurt him." Itachi sounded about as interested in the topic as he would be discussing the different sizes of grains of rice.

"How badly?" Sasuke cracked his knuckles, smirking wickedly.

Itachi chuckled. "Well, just don't kill or paralyze him."

"Can I hunt him down?"

"Yes, but are you staying the night here?" Itachi reached over and threw a pillow at him. "Because if you are, I'll get the nurse to pull up a cot for you and to get you some pajamas."

Sasuke nodded. "I think so, but I won't be back for a bit. I think I'm going to do some…hunting." He turned to leave. "I'll be back, Itachi. Get some rest."

"Alright. Just poke me when you get back." Itachi was almost asleep already. "And don't get hurt. Just hunt."

Sasuke nodded breifly, then made his way towards the Akatsuki hideout.

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A/N: Told you it wasn't as funny. Sorry about that. It'll be better soon. Just maybe one more chapter of non-funny, (but fights) and then a massive funny explosion.

Please review!

And please don't kill me if the next update isn't for a while.


	12. Attack on Leadersama

A/N: Hey! So I finally updated. Enough of you started bugging me to do so, so I sat down and wrote this chapter. Yay. I will warn you, however. There is no comedy in this chapter. But hey! The following ones are hilarious so they totally make up for it! Also, sorry for all the "the Ledaer"s but this was written a long time ago.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything to do with it. I also don't own the "Do Not Enter" sign from Pein's room.

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"Don't attack! Be careful!" Itachi yelled, but Sasuke was already gone.

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Sasuke enterred the Akatsuki hideout, hugging the wall to prevent being seen. "Hello? Anyone up?" Sasuke looked around, but everyone seemed to have gone to bed. "Perfect." Creeping forward, Sasuke noticed a large sign hanging above a door.

Leader's Room.

DO NOT ENTER!

"That's not suspicious." Sasuke made his way towards the doorway.

"Itachi, is that you?" Stopping in his tracks, Sasuke put on a convincing Itachi voice.

"Of course, Leader-sama."

"Are you ready for your missions?" Sasuke inwardly cursed the bastard. "How did you get out of the hospital so fast?"

Sasuke's brain moving quickly, he replied, "I'm perfectly fine. I had to pretend to be sick in order for Sasuke to let his guard down. There's a clone there now. He should be attacking soon."

An evil laugh sounded from around the corner. "Nice. You're a good Uchiha."

Working his hair furiously, Sasuke formed a short ponytail and forced his sharingan to activate. Reaching to a hook by his right side, he grabbed a pair of robes and put them on. _Wait. Duh. _With a poof, Sasuke became a clone of his brother and stepped into the room.

"Leader-sama, I know it's late, but I need to know. When's the next mission?"

The Leader turned around to look at Sasuke. "Tomorrow morning. You, Kisame, and Deidara will be attacking a castle in a nearby village."

"Motive?"

"…Because we're the Akatsuki and that's what we do?"

Sasuke cursed himself for slipping up. "Of course. Forgive me. My foolish little brother is rubbing off on me. He tends to ask stupid questions."

The Leader laughed. "He he. Yes he does." 

"And you're still going to let him join?" Sasuke found it amusing being Itachi.

"Yes." The Leader leaned against the wall of his room, looking down at the ground and Sasuke's purple toe nails.

"But it seems to foolish. He lacks hatred."

"But his Chidori would prove rather useful." The Leader turned to look out the window at the moon. "And with both Uchihas, we'll be even stronger." He laughed again.

"Will you let him in even if he attacks you?" Sasuke found himself edging closer to the Leader.

"Yes," The Leader watched the moon. "Because I know how useful he can be and then I would be able to counter it if he were to try again. I had Itachi use his Mangekyou Sharingan on me many times. Now it doesn't work on me. But with Sasuke, then we will be two times as strong. Then it will be 144 hours of torture."

"Hn," Sasuke said, not noticing his copywrited phrase. "You can do math." He grabbed his arm. "But can you block…A CHIDORI?!" Dropping his disguise, Sasuke ran forward and thrust a Chidori at the Leader's chest who had turned around just in time to get hit.

"GAH!" Sasuke smirked at the Leader's noise. "What now Leader? Still think you're so great?" he asked him, his hand still in his chest. "You see, us Uchiha are very talented. You shouldn't mess with us." The Leader coughed up some blood. "And even after seeing the Mangekyou, you still have the stupidity to annoy one of us."

"Gaah!" The Leader was breathing heavily, blood dripping down his face.

With a burst of chakra, Sasuke flared the Chidori still inside his opponent. "WELL? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE UCHIHAS NOW??"

The Leader's eyes fluttered. "You…are…so…strong." Reaching out, he kicked Sasuke hard. "Now get off me, you little brat!" Standing up, he flung Sasuke away, blood issuing from the hole in his chest.

Sasuke skidded across the room, pulling out a kunai. "I told you not to mess with the Uchiha!" The Leader walked forward, and Sasuke shot ahead, plunging the blade into the contact point of the Chidori and kicking his feet out from under him. "Back…off!"

Falling to the ground, the Leader coughed up more blood. "I don't see why they all listen to you," Sasuke hissed. "You're a simple opponent." Moving quickly, he started a handsign.

"NOT SO FAST!"

"Gwah!" Suddenly, Sasuke felt a pain from his back. Looking over his shoulder, he saw the Leader standing behind him with a kunai. "It was a clone, you fool."

Spitting blood, Sasuke's eyes hardened. "You-you didn't get hit at all?"

"Yes, I did. But I will not lose to you." The Leader smiled at him.

Closing his eyes, Sasuke tried to slow his breathing. Suddenly, they opened, the sharingan in place.

"Hehe! What are you going to do with that?" The Leader asked. "I told you, the Mangekyou doesn't work on me!"

"I don't know the Mangekyou," Sasuke breathed. "I'm not that powerful yet….but still…I KNOW HOW TO FIGHT!" Suddenly, Sasuke disappeared.

"A Shadow clone, you fool!" Turning, the Leader sought the voice, only to see Sasuke standing upside down on the ceiling.

"FIRE STYLE! PHOENIX FLOWER JUTSU!"

The Leader tried to dodge but was caught in the jutsu. "AH! IT BURNS!" Slowly, the Leader went stiff and eventually stopped moving.

Landing gracefully, Sasuke made his way over to the Leader's body and nudged it with his foot. _That was almost too easy…_ He waited a moment, but when nothing happened, he shrugged. "All right. Back to the hospital, then." Sasuke turned and left the room.

From the closet, there came a muffled laughter. "Haha! Excellent!" The Leader smirked.

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A/N: So I know that was tedious. I'll try to write another chapter soon to get rid of all the sadness. I like writing action scenes, though. Heh. Anyway….

Please review!


	13. Boxered Sasukes and The Return of Angst

A/N: So I'm updating quickly for once! Yay! I got bored again, and I was going to do the chapter after this right away (Still might) but I wanted to read your comments. Anyway, the chapters will be getting longer now, as I'm on chat number 5 of 35 and already on chapter 13. Anyway, this chapter makes up for last chapter. Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything to do with it. I also don't own a boxered-Sasuke clone, and if I did, I would have been killed by now by random fangirls.

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Breathing heavily, Sasuke entered Itachi's room. "H-hey, oniisan." He sat, ignoring the wound he had gotten from being stabbed. When silence greeted him, he smiled to himself. "I guess you're asleep, then." Moving over, he sat in the chair by Itachi's bed, noticing the bed the nurses had brought in for him. Sighing, he laid down on that.

"Sasuke….is that you?" Itachi asked, waving his hand in the air. "Have you returned?"

"Huh?" Sasuke looked up from the bed. "Yeah, I have, Itachi."

Itachi grunted and sat up, looking over at his brother. "SASUKE, YOU'RE BLEEDING!!" he sounded close to hysterics. "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?"

"Hn?" Sasuke looked down at himself, noticing the blood. "Oh. I guess I am."

"Yes, NOW EXPLAIN!" Itachi shouted. Turning to the buttons on the side of his bed, he hit the "Call nurse" button.

Sasuke noticed. "I'm fine, Itachi. Really."

"No you're not." Itachi shifted in his bed.

"I just fought the leader, that's all."

"No….You need to get looked at." Itachi's face was filled with concern.

"It's just a little wound! I mean, my shirt's not even drenched."

"I DON'T CARE!" Itachi yelled. Suddenly, he winced, arching his back severely. "GAHHHH!"

"Itachi?" Sasuke's expression changed quickly. "Itachi! You alright?"

"Ahhhh!" Itachi moaned. "My back…my back!"

"Itachi!" Reaching over, Sasuke started hitting the "Call Nurse" button over and over again. As Itachi's breath grew more and more ragged, Sasuke turned back to him. "Dammit, Itachi! You've gotta stop doing this to me!"

Itachi opened his mouth. "You…worry about yourself."

"I'm not the one having spasms!" Sasuke yelled.

"You're getting looked at first." Even in pain, Itachi was a stubborn man.

"NO!" Sasuke threw the buttons to the side. "You're falling over in pain! I've just got a little stab wound!" He clutched the edge of Itachi's bed.

"Do not argue with me." Itachi's voice was suddenly commanding. "All I care about right now is your safety."

"ITACHI!" Sasuke was suddenly grabbing his brother by the shirt, pulling him so they were face to face. "I'm not letting you get hurt just because you think I'm in danger! You've got to think more about yourself! I'm fine! I'm all grown up now and I can handle myself. It's you that needs help, not me! So stop arguing with me and shut up while I get help!" Breathing heavily, Sasuke threw his brother back down.

"GAHHHH!" Itachi yelled. "YOU FOOL! YOU THREW ME DOWN ON MY BACK!"

"Whoops." Sasuke had completely forgotten about Itachi's back problems. "NURSE!"

Suddenly, a nurse burst in the room. She was dressed in a tight hot pink uniform, had long flowing golden hair and blue eyes. Her entrance had caused a large amount of Shojo rose petals to fall from the sky.

"I'll make it all better, Itachi-sama," she said, her Mary-Sueish features catching the light perfectly.

Sasuke's face was horrified. Brushing rose petals off of his head, he scrambled over to Itachi. "OTHER NURSE!" he shouted, shielding his brother from the fangirl nurse. The Mary Sue fangirl shuffled out just as a male nurse with a slight limp and a cane made his way in, walked over to Itachi's bed, shoved a shot into his leg, declared, "There. He's cured," and walked back out.

"Dr. House?" Sasuke asked, tilting his head to the side. Shaking his head, he turned back to Itachi. "Itachi? You better?"

Silence greeted him.

Turning around, Sasuke slammed his fists into the wall. "I'm so useless!" His angst mixed with the flower petals, creating a sort of emo scene.

"Sasuke?" Itachi moaned.

"Angst!" Sasuke noticed his brother. "Yes?" He turned back to him.

"I don't ever want to hear you call yourself stupid or useless again." Sasuke turned to look out the window. Itachi sighed and laid back down. "Look at me."

"Why?'

"Because I said so." When Sasuke didn't comply, Itachi barked, "Now!"

Turning slowly, Sasuke looked at his brother.

"Sasuke," Itachi started. "You are very strong. Don't ever say that you're not, that you're useless or stupid. You are an Uchiha. We are not any of those. You are very precious to me. That's why I was concerned about you."

"But…I failed," Sasuke's face was hidden by an emo shadow.

"No…why would you say that you did?" Itachi crept backwards in his bed, attempting to hide from the advancing emoness.

"I've failed in so many things."

"No, you have not." Itachi was now on the very corner of his bed.

"First, I couldn't protect my clan, then I couldn't get stronger than Naruto, then I couldn't beat Orochimaru's curse seal, I can't beat you, and I can barely beat the Leader." Sasuke's amount of emoness and angst was now setting a world record.

"That's okay," Itachi reassured him, partly to get the emoness to abate and not swallow Itachi whole. "You will get strong. And someday, you will surpass me."

"Only if I manage to kill Naruto."

"No. You've already killed the Leader. Do you honestly say that you like it?"

"I doubt that I killed him." Sasuke was apparently the world's biggest pessimist, too. Somewhere off in the distance, Eyore cried.

"And I don't like it, it's just…I _have _to in order to get the Mangekyou, and without that, I'm useless." Sasuke's self esteem was now at floor level.

"You could, and no you're not!" Itachi shook his head. "But you'd better get used to that feeling. If you join me, you'd better like killing. You wouldn't believe how many assassination orders we get."

"It's not necessarily a bad feeling. Just weird." Sasuke shook his head, too. "I'm an avenger, though. Of course I know what it feels like."

Itachi nodded sagely. "Yes, I will agree that it was weird for me at first, but then it became second nature to me."

"Yeah," Sasuke's tone was suddenly harsh. Maybe killing off a clan could help with that…" He sounded like he was forming an idea, and Itachi didn't like it.

"…Yes…and it helped me obtain my Mangekyou…"

"I would go after the Hyuugas, but you know. They all look like girls." Suddenly, as if by a miracle, the emoness abated and Sasuke's face was visible again. "And without the Mangekyou, as I've stated, it's pointless…It's just my luck that my best friend's a demon." Just then, the emoness was back and creeping up on Itachi again, threatening to eat him alive.

"You never told me how Neji's party went!" Itachi declared, trying desperately to get rid of the emoness.

"Heh." Itachi waited, but Sasuke didn't continue. Instead, he closed his eyes for a few moments, and then shot them wide open. Moving over to his bed, he picked up the pajamas the nurse had left him and took off his shirt.

"Are you ready for bed now?" Itachi asked from his bed.

Sasuke turned to look at him, his eyes narrowed. "No, Itachi. I'm just taking off my shirt for no good reason."

"Ah. I see, I see," Itachi mused.

"SARCASM!" Sasuke shouted, waving his arms.

"I know, I know," Itachi replied.

"Sheesh. There's no Neji around here. I don't act like that."

Itachi shook his head, attempting to ignore that remark. "Well, I assume you don't want anything to eat or drink?"

"No, I'm good," Sasuke replied, taking off his shorts. Reaching over, he started undoing his random bandages.

"And first thing in the morning, you're getting checked out. As soon as I'm back from my mission," Itachi informed him, watching as Sasuke threw the pajamas across the room.

"Ug." Sasuke flopped on his bed, dressed in his boxers. "Please tell me you're not actually going on that."

"I have to." Itachi turned to face his brother. "There's no choice."

Sasuke opened one eye and looked at his brother. "Isn't he supposed to be dead? You know, the leader?"

"Yes," Itachi responded. "But still. It is my duty to do all the missions that have been assigned to me. But I only have them to the beginning of next month."

"Ug." Sasuke looked over at Itachi and smirked. "By the way, nice paper smock," he said, referring to the one issued to all hospital patients. "Veeeerrry stylish." He untied his headband.

"Thanks," Itachi said, laughing. "I'll be sure to get you one as well."

"No thanks," Sasuke put his hands behind his head. "Boxers are good enough for me."

"They refused to let me wear my robe…" Itachi complained.

"I wonder why," Sasuke said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. A few silent moments passed, and then Sasuke sat up. "I can't wait until the nurse walks in here in the morning."

"Why?" Itachi asked.

"She'll be like-" Sasuke got off of his bed and did a very disturbing impression of the Mary Sue nurse. "Tra la la la laaaaa!" Jumping onto the bed, he yelled, "RANDOM BISHI IN BOXERS!" Jumping off, he put his hands to his cheeks. "OMG!!!! –fangirls-"

Itachi smacked his hand to his forehead.

"What?" Sasuke asked, lying back down. "You've gotta admit it would be funny. Really, just make a clone so you could see it."

Itachi smirked and raised an eyebrow, looking at Sasuke. "He he. Yes, it would be."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Itachi. "Ew. Gross! Are you checking me out?"

"No!" Itachi scrambled away from his brother.

"Better not be," Sasuke replied.

"That's gross!"

Sasuke smirked. "But you looooooooove me, oniisan!"

Itachi shook his head, laughing. "Yes, I do." Sobering, he turned to Sasuke. "Sasuke, come here for a second."

"Hn?" Sasuke moved to the side of his bed that was closest to Itachi's.

"I just wanted to say…thanks." In one motion, Itachi wrapped Sasuke in a hug. "Goodnight my brother."

Sasuke's following expression has been dubbed as too hard to put into words. The World's Scholars have decided it is best described as O.O.

"Um…good night," Sasuke said, noting the odd sensation experienced when you are hugged by your brother while wearing only boxers. Sasuke shivered.

Itachi laughed. "Yes, that was weird, wasn't it? But it was only for a second."

"Still…" Sasuke shivered again.

"Yeah. I shivered, too."

Sasuke's face contorted into overdone disgust. "If you had glomped me or cuddled me, I would have freaked out."

"Well," Itachi replied. "I wouldn't do that anyway."

"Good." Sasuke turned back onto his back. "That'd be weird."

"I would freak too," Itachi admitted, cuddling into his pillow.

"Really?" The expression on Sasuke's face made Itachi suspicious.

"Yes…"

In one swift movement, Sasuke made a quick hand sign. Immediately, a puff of smoke filled the air and a shadow clone of boxered-Sasuke stood before them. In an instant, he had run at Itachi, and glomped him.

Itachi sweat dropped.

"I'm so glad I can't feel that," Sasuke said, laughing.

"He he," Itachi replied sarcastically. The clone Sasuke was now snuggling up against him. "That's enough. Lights out!" Clapping, Itachi watched the lights in the room shut off.

"Ug. Fine." Sasuke released his shadow clone. A few silent moments passed. "Hey, Itachi?"

"Yes?" Itachi had almost been asleep.

"Bet you just freaked out madly, didn't you?"

"Uh-huh," Itachi nodded vigorously. "You know it."

"C'mon," Sasuke rolled over to face his brother. "It can't be _that _bad having a shirtless/pants less brother cuddle up against you under the covers when you're in a paper smock!" He paused. "Oh, wait. It can."

Itachi yawned. "Yes, it can."

"Well, night, Itachi," Sasuke said, rolling over back onto his back and sinking under the covers. "Eat a good breakfast before you go. And have fun on your mission."

Itachi laughed again. "Alright. I will. Sleep tight and sweet dreams."

Sasuke closed his eyes and in an instant was asleep.

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A/N: So that was a LONG chapter. Yay. The next one's hilarious. It really is. The real Itachi (the one this is based on) keeps on walking up to me and saying "Did you get to that chapter yet?" Nooo. But now we will! Yay!

Well, please review!


	14. Fanart of Brothers

A/N: Wrote this when I wrote chapter 13. I just wanted to see some of your reviews. Anyways, here it is. It's another reason for the T rating. Yayz….

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything to do with it, nor do I own strawberries and pleather. Also, the concept of these fangirls is property of Wicked Enough and can be found in her Rurouni Kenshin: Tales of a Sexy Swordsman. I wrote that before I thought about turning this chat into a fic, so please don't be mad. I altered it a bit.

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Rolling over, Sasuke sighed. "Uhn?" As he opened his eyes, he noticed a group of people crouded around his bed.

"The bishi!" One of the nurses shrieked, and the rest of them squealed.

"GO AWAY!" Sasuke yelled, turning to Itachi's bed. Itachi wasn't there, but in his place was yet another note. Sighing, Sasuke picked it up.

_Sasuke,_

_When you wake up, I will not be there. As I said, I would like to say that this won't take long, but who knows? Don't worry. I'm not going to die. I will be fine. But when I get back I will be sleeping most likely. If you want to check on me, just shake me. _

_But I want to warn you: be on your toes. The other Akatsuki members are after you and me because of the Leader. I know that I could take them, but I just want to warn you. And just because someone will be posing as me, I won't be wearing my necklace and my hair will be down._

_I love you. _

_Sweet dreams,_

_Itachi_

"Stupid Akatsuki." Sasuke set the note back down. He was just about to walk back to his bed when he heard someone behind him.

"I'm back, little one." Itachi was standing against the wall. "Sleep well?"

"Um…I think so," Sasuke replied, straightening up. "I don't know what those nurses did to me in my sleep…" He shivered.

Itachi cocked his head to the side. "What?" Sasuke sighed and pointed nine paragraphs up.

"I'll hurt those nurses," Itachi vowed.

"Come on!" Sasuke smirked. "It's not their fault they're attracted to a BIB! Bishi in Boxers!"

Itachi sighed. "I'll kill them once I get my strength back. I kinda…passed out on the way home."

"ONIISAN!" Sasuke was suddenly livid.

"Yeah, I didn't feel too well, but my wounds didn't re-open. Thank God." He sighed and slumped down on his bed.

Sasuke got up and started to get his clothing together when he stopped. "Um, Itachi? They…left fan art…" He shivered violently.

"Do I want to know? Do you know what the nurses look like?" Itachi asked, plotting revenge.

"I don't know what they look like…" Sasuke replied, still shaking violently. "But they left us a drawing." Moving slowly and shakily, he handed it to his brother. "I think I'm scarred for life. Seriously. I am."

Itachi looked down at the horrible yaoi SasuItachi massive incest picture. He then swore a lot.

"_**WHAT????? HOW DARE THEY!!! I'LL KILL THEM!!!!"**_ He was breathing heavily and steeming angrily. "_**I'll KILL THEM, EVEN IF IT KILL ME!"**_

"Oniisan!" Sasuke had his hands up in front of his face. "Down boy! Remember your wounds and inability to Mangekyou!"

"_**I DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW!"**_ Itachi roared. _**"I'LL STRANGLE THEM! I'LL STAB THEM! I'LL KILL THEM! I'LL THROW THEM OUT OF THE WINDOW! I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT MY INJURIES! I'LL OVERUSE MY EYES AND KILL THEM! TORTURE THEM! THEIR MINDS WILL BE DESTROYED!" **_Whirling madly, Itachi punched a hole in the wall.

"Oniisan!" Itachi turned to Sasuke, several thousand veins popping out, his face bright red, his eyes slits, breathing fire, and a dark aura flickering around him that gave off static noises. "Calm down! You're acting like me!"

"_**WE ARE RELATED! AND I WON'T CALM DOWN!"**_ Itachi yelled, punching another hole in the wall.

"ONIISAN!" Sasuke yelled, standing up now. "STOPPIT! You _have _to calm down! This is insanity!"

Itachi turned to him again, his anger building. "You're going to have to knock me out or tie me down!"

Sasuke fumbled for words. "But, Oniisan! I don't want to hurt you!" He shrugged. "Oh, well. I'm an avenger."

Itachi totally ignored him and started making his deadly way towards hunting down the nurses. Moving quickly, Sasuke built up a small Chidori and hit him in the side, although not fataly. "Sorry, Oniisan."

"GHAA!" Itachi fell to the ground, his side and back bleeding. He coughed up blood.

"Oniisan!" Sasuke turned towards the door. "NURSE!"

The Mary Sue nurse showed up in the door, looked the boxered Sasuke up and down and smirked. "Yes, bishi-sama?"

Sasuke sweat dropped.

The nurst turned her attention towards Itachi. "Oh! Itachi-sama's hurt! I'll go fetch the rest of the staff!"

With speed yet unheard of, Itachi got to his feet and charged at the nurse. _**"I'LL KILL YOU!" **_

Sasuke, acting fast, hit the Mary Sue nurse. "Other nurse!" he yelled quickly, trying to hold back the approaching Itachi.

"_**MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!" **_

"Y-yes?" A normal nurse entered the door.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Yelled the Mary Sue nurse, falling to the floor in a shower of flower petals and glitter, her unconscious body hitting the ground in slow motion.

The other nurse squeaked and backed up.

"MY EYES! THEY BURN!" Itachi yelled, his hands going up to cover his eyes as he flailed around.

"Wanna sedate him for me?" Sasuke asked her as Itachi flailed into a lamp and started strangling it.

"Um…" The nurse reached inside her uniform and pulled out a saringe. Moving quickly, she poked Itachi with it.

"I told you, Oniisan," Sasuke said.

Suddenly, Itachi whipped around, grabbed the nurse's arm, and threw her against the wall. The moment she was down, he was standing over her, kunai in hand, a completely psychotic expression on his face.

"ONIISAN!" Sasuke yelled.

"_**HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"**_

"CHIDORI!" Sasuke hit Itachi hard with his jutsu, knocking Itachi into the wall.

"_**GAHHHHHHHH!"**_ Itachi yelled, flying backwards.

"STOPPIT!" Sasuke demanded, breathing heavily and holding his arm. "IF I HAVE TO CHIDORI AGAIN, WE'LL BOTH BE DEAD!:

"_**NEVER! NOT AFTER WHAT THEY DID!" **_Itachi was beyond all reasoning.

"WE'LL BOTH BE DEAD! YOU WILL HAVE KILLED YOUR ONLY BROTHER! THE UCHIHAS WILL BE EXTINCT!" Sasuke yelled, watching sense come back to Itachi.

Suddenly, Itachi crumpled into a heap, shaking horribly as tears fell from his eyes.

"Itachi? Calm down!" Sasuke dropped to his level, putting his arm around his brother. "Shh. It's okay. I promise."

Itachi shook his head and leaned into Sasuke. "No it's not."

"What do you mean, oniisan?" Sasuke asked, stroking his hair. He noticed Itachi's tears streaming down his face. "Shh. Calm down. It's okay."

"No. No it's not." Itachi's tears were stainging Sasuke's shirt.

"What do you mean, oniisan?" Sasuke asked. He noticed Itachi was sobbing and shaking, rolling back and forth. "Shh. Calm down. It's okay."

"No. It's not okay." Itachi looked up at Sasuke. "I could have…." Itachi seemed to have a flashback or something, as he started screaming, holding his head, and rolling back and forth.

"Itachi!" Sasuke was now quite alarmed. "Tell me!"

Itachi looked up at Sasuke. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke! I'm so very, very sorry! I could have killed us both…and it would have been the end of the Uchihas!" He shook his head again, and Sasuke noticed the wound on his side had started bleeding. "I'm so very, very sorry." Falling to the side, Itachi was breathing shallowly again.

"Itachi!" Sasuke yelled, moving towards him. Suddenly, he felt something prick him. Turning around, he saw the nurse holding up a tranquilizer. "Damn you, wench." Sasuke fell forward.

"SASUKE!" Itachi shot up and glared at the nurse. "What the hell did you do to my little brother?"

"Nothing!" The Mary-Sue Nurse held up her hands. "I just sedated him. The same should be happening to you soon!" She smiled. "You'll be safe with us. We're going someplace very special." She glittered. "Sleep well now, Itachi-sama."

"Nnnnnghnnnn," Sasuke mumbled in his sleep.

"Sasuke!" Itachi scooted over towards him. "You alright?" He shook Sasuke's body. "C'mon, wake up! Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

The Nurse frowned. "Go to sleep now, Itachi-sama. Sasuke-sama will be fine."

"Nng," Sasuke muttered.

Itachi ignored her, shoving Sasuke. "Sasuke. C'mon man. I know you're in there. You can do it."

"I-itachi?" Sasuke asked, his eyes still closed and his words slurred.

"There! That's it! You can do it!" Itachi squeezed his hand.

"Itachi?"

"Sasuke?" Itachi asked hopefully.

Sasuke shook his head. "I don't wanna eat the fox's ice cream, Itachi. Make it stop…." His sentence faded out into a snore.

Itachi sweat dropped. Shaking his brother furiously, he screamed, "SNAP OUT OF IT! WAKE UP!"

"Damn, Itachi-sama," the nurse said, brandashing a saringe. "It takes three of these to knock you out?" She poked him with another one.

"NO!" Sasuke yelled. "Naruto! I don't want to eat the nine tails!"

The Nurse raised an eyebrow. "Are all his dreams about food?"

Itachi shoved her away. "You get the hell away from us, you psycho." He shook Sasuke faster so Sasuke was rolling at incredible speeds.

"BUTTERFLIES!" Sasuke yelled.

Itachi sighed and summoned a pail of cold water, which he flung on Sasuke.

"NO!" Sasuke screamed. "FOX MILK!"

Itachi smacked his face. "Wake up, dammit!" He was crashing fast and running out of chakra.

"Owie!" Sasuke said, offended. "Not nice, Mr. Owl." He curled up in a ball, a smirk on his sleeping face as he dreamed on.

"God dammit!" Itachi yelled, turning his eyes on Sasuke's. "Mangekyou Sharingan!" Instantly, Sasuke and Itachi were transported to an alternate reality. Itachi stabbed his brother. "Now-" stab. "You'd better-" stab. "wake up!" stab. "Unless you want more pictures like that going around."

Sasuke's face contorted in a less-than-please expression. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Neji! Stoppit! I don't sway that way!"

Itachi couldn't take it. The tranquilizers were too much. He passed out, landing next to Sasuke.

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A/N: Sorry for the long break before updating. I was preoccupied. Also, today is my birthday! Yay! Lol. So that means a lot of reviews from you people! Heh. Anyway, next chapter is the best.

Please review!

SajaNatalia


	15. Pleather and Rabid Fangirls

A/N: Hey there! I'm updating again. Yay! Heh. Anyway, I'm going away for Christmas and the following week or so, so I can't update. I will when I get back, though!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything to do with it. I don't own the Rabid Fangirls Land, even though I have altered it, as that is property of Wicked Enough. I don't own any of the animes I make reference to, either. I also don't own any strawberries.

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Sasuke came back to his senses slowly. "Nng? Itachi?" Sitting up slowly, he opened his eyes to an unfamiliar place. The ground was covered with hot pink carpet decorated with several hearts and rose petals. The walls were painted the same shade of pink, and the ceiling was made so it looked like one was looking up at a star-lit night sky. "Where are we?"

Sasuke's eyes drifted to Itachi, who was laying next to him under a pink blanket. "Oniisan?" He shook his brother. "Oniisan, this isn't good!"

Suddenly, movement caught Sasuke's eyes. "Oh crap." What Sasuke hadn't noticed were the pack of fangirls dressed in the same pink, but in varying amounts of cloth. They stood around the corners of the room, forming a ring around the Uchihas.

"Thank"

"you"

"for"

"joining"

"us"

"young"

"bishi." Every word was spoken by a different girl, but all in the same creepy tone. Suddenly, from far off screen, Sasuke heard shouts. 

"NO! DON'T TOUCH ME, DATEBAYOU!"

"No! Don't touch my Tenseiga!"

"Ah! Stay away! I'm too short for you, right? Go take my brother instead!"

"RUKIA! OH GOD! RUKIA, HELP ME!"

"Ryuuk! I need the Shinagami eyes NOW!"

"Take this one's Sakabatou instead! The other sword isn't needed!"

"Just because I'm rubber doesn't mean you should bend me like THAT!"

"If you keep tugging like that, I'll be the no-winged-angel!"

"WHAT THE HELL? WHAT THE _HELL? _NO WAY I'M DOING THAT WITH THAT STUPID RAT!"

Sasuke's eyes quickly got rediculously wide. "No. This is….rabid fangirl land!" Whirling around, he started shaking Itachi relentlessly. "ITACHI! WAKE UP!" It was clear he wasn't making any progress. Determined to fight off the fangirls if necessary, Sasuke stood up and faced them.

"You'll pay-WHAT THE HELL AM I WEARING?"

"Pleather."

Sasuke felt an involuntary shiver run through his body. Diving back towards Itachi, he yelled, "ITACHI! WAKE UP PLEEEEAAASE!"

"He"

"won't"

"wake"

"up."

Frustrated, Sasuke attempted to fling the covers off of Itachi. Unfortunately, this left him with a lot of mental scarring. "OH GOD! WHAT IS ITACHI WEARING?" Sasuke fell to the side, holding his eyes. "MY EYES! THEY BURN! OH THE MENTAL SCARRING!"

While Sasuke was writhing back and forth, the circle of fangirls had moved in closer around him.

"Come"

"play"

"with"

"us!"

"AHHHHH!"

"Nng." Itachi mumbled, finally coming to. His eyes remained closed as he balanced on the line between sleep and alertness.

"LEMME GOO!" Sasuke yelled from off to Itachi's left. "DON'T TOUCH THAT! LEMME GOO!"

"Sasuke?" Itachi rolled over, attempting to open his eyes. Unfortunately, his last moment Mangekyouing had left him temperarily blind. "Where are you? I can't see anything."

"Here!" The shout came from a pile of writhing fangirls.

"Where?" Itachi swung his hand out wildly, attempting to make contact with his brother.

"HERE!" The fangirls overtook him, and Sasuke sunk into their masses.

"Weeeee!" The entire piled yelled in unison. Itachi used this sound to start crawling in the right direction.

"HELP ME!"

"Come"

"with"

"us"

"Sasuke"

"-sama!"

"Sasuke!" Itachi was closer now. "Keep talking and I'll find you!"

"I'm over here! I'm-" Suddenly, the room filled with the sound of an aerosol can. "AH! NO! NOT THE WHIPPED CREAM! ITACHIIIIIIII!"

"Now do you understand why I wanted to kill them?" Itachi asked, sifting through the mass of girls.

"Yesssss!" Sasuke sounded close to tears. "AH! NO! STRAWBERRIES!"

Itachi shoved through the mass of girls and grabbed at Sasuke's hand.

"Itachi, is that you?" Sasuke asked, his voiced panicky.

"Yes. Place your other hand on top of mine to make sure, though." Itachi was oddly calm.

Sasuke obeyed, placing his hand on what he thought was Itachi's hand. "Ew. That is SO not your hand!"

"Teehee!" The fangirl giggled.

Determined, Sasuke grabbed Itachi's hand. "Itachi?"

"Yes?"

"SAVE ME! I'M-" Suddenly, a rather large and juicey strawberry was shoved into Sasuke's mouth. "-AHOIGNIUSDG FIUGBWK!"

"You're what?" Itachi asked, clasping Sasuke's hand. "Eat the freakin strawberry!"

Sasuke obediantly chewed on the strawberry. "Ew. That leafy green stuff doesn't taste good. Itachi! I'm being-MORE WHIPPED CREAM!"

"Ffffffffft!"

"I HWATE WUHIPUED CWEAM!" Spitting the substance out, Sasuke returned to Itachi. "Quickly, Itachi! Before they notice you!"

"Hello"

"Itachi"

"-sama."

"Shit." Sasuke went back to cleaning his mouth of whipped cream.

"What the hell do you want?" Itachi clearly didn't like the fangirls. "If you even think of touching me…"

"You"

"look"

"good"

"in"

"pleather."

Itachi's face turned bright red. "I'll Mangekyou Sharingan your ass!"

"Oh"

"please"

"do."

This was too much for Sasuke. He had to save his brother from this fate. "ITACHI!"

Snarling, Itachi tripped the closest fangirl. Her mini skirt rode up as she fell. "You're a sick little whore. You make me sick." He kicked her in the side.

"Good"

"then"

"we"

"can"

"nurse"

"you"

"back"

"to"

"health."

The fangirls watched as their comrad was beaten.

"Oh!"

"Get"

"violent,"

"Itachi"

"-sama!"

"Do"

"it!"

"EW!" Sasuke yelled, breaking free of a few of the girls. "Itachi! Run! SAVE YOURSELF!"

"Mangekyou Sharingan! Mangekyou Sharingan! Mangekyou Sharingan! Mangekyou Sharingan! Mangekyou Sharingan!" Itachi spun in a circle, Mangekyouing everyone close to him.

One of the fangirls Itachi had Mangekyoud giggled. "Thank you, Itachi-sama. I always wanted to be inside your mind!"

Itachi ignored her. "No, Sasuke! I will not leave you here! And where would I run to? I don't know where we are. I can't see, remember?"

"You're a big help," Sasuke grumbled.

Itachi pinched his arm hard. "Wanna say that again?"

"Ug. Itachi! Now is _not_ the time to be fighting! I have chocolate sauce on my ear! And you should concider yourself lucky for not being able to see. Pleather is _scary!_" Finally coming up with a plan, Sasuke flared up his Chidori.

"Oooooooo! Preeeettty!" the fangirls said in unison.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, facing one of the fangirls, and was about to charge when he heard a voice.

"Now that's enough, girls. You can stop now. You've had your fun."

Turning slowly, Sasuke faced the voice and started. Before him stood Pein, a smile on his face and a mob of fangirls at his side.

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A/N: **THERE WILL BE A CHRISTMAS INSTALLMENT OF FUN WITH UCHIHAS! Please submit any questions or suggestions you have for any of the characters so they can answer them in the next segment! Just leave a review and I'll hopefully include it in the next chapter! **

Hey! Hope you liked it. If you were confused as to those pleas for help from off screen, they were as follows:

"NO! DON'T TOUCH ME, DATEBAYOU!" – Naruto from Naruto

"No! Don't touch my Tenseiga!" – Inuyasha from Inuyasha

"Ah! Stay away! I'm too short for you, right? Go take my brother instead!" – Ed from Full Metal Alchemist

"RUKIA! OH GOD! RUKIA, HELP ME!" – Ichigo from Bleach

"Ryuuk! I need the Shinagami eyes NOW!" – Light/Raito from Death Note

"Take this one's Sakabatou instead! The other sword isn't needed!" – Himura Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin

"Just because I'm rubber doesn't mean you should bend me like THAT!" – Luffie from One Piece

"If you keep tugging like that, I'll be the no-winged-angel!" – Sephiroth from FFVII

"WHAT THE HELL? WHAT THE _HELL? _NO WAY I'M DOING THAT WITH THAT STUPID RAT!" – Kyou Sohma from Fruits Basket

These guys may make another appearance if I ever choose to do an intermission in this fic.

Hope you liked!

Please review!


	16. Intermission: Christmas Party!

SajaNatalia: Hey there, everybody and welcome to the Fun With Uchihas Christmas Party!!!

I want to start off by saying thanks to all of you who wished me a happy birthday! And thanks to all of you who have stuck through this far. And now, on to the festivities!

Woah! This is the first time I've ever talked in one of my fanfics. Cool!

Anyway, I've decided to take a short break in Fun With Uchihas and have a Christmas Party with the characters! Basically, they're going to be randoming about in a few short bits. And after that, they'll be answering some of your frequently asked questions!

Anyway, on with the fun!

-------

Intermission:

Decorating

-------

Sasuke stretched as he got out of bed. Sighing, he walked over to his mirror and glanced at his reflection. Nothing too special. Walking to his door, he slid it open and nearly stepped on a furry something.

Alarmed, Sasuke looked down to notice a Santa hat decorated lovingly with the Uchiha fan. "What's this?" he asked. A note sat next to the hat.

_Dear Sasuke,_

_I have been out and about the past few days, and I've noticed all of the decorations that people have put up. I think we should do the same. Maybe we'll even have fun doing it!_

_Love you and Merry Christmas,_

_Itachi_

Sasuke sighed. _Decorating? How about not? _Suddenly, the air filled with the sounds of jingling bells and footsteps. In a few moments, Sasuke as overtaken by Itachi.

"SASSSSUKKKKKEEE!" Itachi yelled. Sasuke did his best not to fall over. Craning his neck, Sasuke noticed what Itachi was wearing. He was dressed from head to toe in bright red and fluffy white. On his head perched a Santa hat, decorated with several jingle bells.

"Why the ridiculous outfit?" Sasuke asked, shoving Itachi away. "Is that fully necessary?"

Itachi smirked. "Yes. And don't worry, brother. I haven't forgotten you!" A green and red elf costume was thrust in Sasuke's face, accompanied by more jingles. "Isn't it adorable?"

"No." Sasuke backed away from the outfit as far as he could. "Get that away from me."

Itachi's expression fell. "You won't wear it? Even for your big brother?'

"I wouldn't wear it even if it brought the clan back to life," Sasuke spat, recoiling from the outfit. "Go burn it."

Itachi sniffled. "Well, that's so…sad!" Suddenly, he burst into sobs, using the outfit as a handkerchief.

"If you think crying's going to make me wear that outfit," Sasuke replied. "You're dead-"

-------

"-Right."

"You look so cute!" Itachi hugged his brother to his chest the moment Sasuke stepped out of his room. "Just like a real elf!"

"What is it about a grown man crying that makes you do what they want?" Sasuke asked.

"Well…" Suddenly, music filled the room. "You can't hold it! It's a reflex! Doo dee doo dee do de," Itachi sang. "You can't see it! It's a reflex!"

"Stop!" Sasuke hit the non-existent music. "That's so disturbing!"

"Not as disturbing as this!"

Sasuke suppressed a shiver. He had done his best not to look in the mirror as he had donned the ridiculous outfit, but now that Itachi swung him around the room, he caught his reflection.

The hat was pointy and stuck straight up with little elf ears pinned to the side and the Konoha symbol indented into the middle. The rest of the outfit was blindingly green, and jingle bells hung from every available scrap of cloth, making it sound like an invasion of tiny birds every time Sasuke moved.

"Great!" Itachi yelled, throwing Sasuke aside, and putting on a CD entitled _SajaNatalia's Christmas Hits_. "Now on to decorating!" He held up a paintbrush, thick with red paint.

"Ooooh no." Sasuke grabbed the paintbrush from his brother. "You're not painting my house."

"Not your house, silly." Itachi advanced upon him. "You!"

Sasuke backed away, accidentally tripping over his coffee table and landing on his back. "Noo! No paint for me! This costume is bad enough. I don't need to look like a dead elf! Besides, it'll take weeks to wash that out of my hair!"

Itachi sighed, shaking his head back and forth. "I don't understand, Sasuke. You wouldn't help your own brother in his time of need. I guess you really are heartless." He turned away, hugging himself tightly.

"Why?" Sasuke asked, pushing himself to his feet. "Why do you have to be like that? It dishonors the Uchiha line! If mother and father knew that their oldest son would be crying because of paint, they'd die of disgrace! Of course, if they weren't already dead."

Itachi didn't say anything, but only sniffled in the corner.

"FINE!" Sasuke marched forward, grabbed the paintbrush, and slapped a large line of red paint down his front. "There! Better?"

"Yes! Much!" Itachi exclaimed, leaping to his feet.

"Good." Sasuke sighed and sat down on his couch. "Now what?"

"GLITTER!" Itachi sang, holding up a pale of glitter. In one swift moment, he had blown off the glitter on the top at Sasuke, causing it to stick to the paint. "Now you're a pretty elf!"

"WHAT THE HELL?" Sasuke fumed, shooting up from this couch. "What the HELL?"

"I wanted to decorate!" Itachi explained.

"So why are you attacking me with all this stupid stuff? Why not go decorate already?" Sasuke demanded, his eyes filled with fire.

"I did decorate," Itachi informed him. "I wanted to decorate you. Job well done! Ta!" And with that, he disappeared in a poof of glitter, leaving one very shiny and very annoyed Sasuke in his wake.

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Decorating

End

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SN: There! Hope you liked that! By the way, the song Itachi was singing was The Electric Slide. Sadly, I don't know that song, so I appologize for the lyrics.

So I said earlier that I was going to have some of the characters answer questions. Well, here they are! Please give a warm round of applause to our guests! Sasuke and Itachi!

Sasuke: How did I get talked into this?

Itachi: Hey! It's fun! Maybe you'll learn some stuff about me!

SN: And now, on with the questions!

Question 1:

Q: SharinganWarriorTribute says, "ask Itachi if he has ever considered reading Icha Icha Paradise.(I have a copy if he wants to borrow it.)"

A:

Itachi: -scrambles away from the host.- Oh dear! Icha Icha Paradise? Doesn't Kakashi read that?

Sasuke: Yes.

Itachi: Well, that's interesting to know.

SajaNatalia: You still haven't answered the question, Itachi-san.

Itachi: Oh, well, um, I considered reading it a while ago. It looked interesting, and I was out of books, seeing as Zetsu had decided that every sheet of paper was the pelt of one of his kin and had therefore threatened to eat anyone he caught with a book. But then Kakashi stopped by, and, well, I couldn't resist!

Sasuke and SN: O.O

Itachi: Well, they asked! It wasn't even that bad of a book! Actually, I think you'd like it, Sasuke.

Sasuke: I've already read it. It's Neji's guide to fun.

Itachi and SN: O.O

SN: MOVING ON!

Question 2:

Q: This question is from SoraTakara. "Sasuke, what is your favorite breed of dog?"

A:

SN: That's…an interesting question…

Sasuke: What the hell type of question is that? Um…husky? Maybe? I don't know.

Itachi: I love toy poodles!

SN: Oh dear God.

Question 3:

SN: Well, this question was probably directed at me. No matter.

Q: Haku's No.1 Girl asks, "By the way, what IS pleather? I know it's wousion of leather, and something else, but what IS the something else?"

A:

SN: Pleather is a mix between plastic and polyurethane or PVC. (Thank you, Wikipedia.) However, the Uchiha brothers define it differently.

Itachi: Pleather is the devil.

Sasuke: The horrible mental images! The memories! Nooooo!

Rabid Fangirl 1: We

Rabid Fangirl 2: Like

Rabid Fangirl 3: It!

Sasuke and Itachi: O.O FLEEEE!!!!!

Question 4:

Q: Ametheneko asks, "Which of the Akatsuki members do you find the most attractive?"

A:

Itachi: Other than myself? Hmm…

Sasuke: He's gonna say Kisame. And then I'm gonna laugh and never let him live it down.

Itachi: What? No I'm not! The sexiest Akatsuki is Deidara!

Sasuke: What?

Itachi: What? Did I take your choice?

Sasuke: No! Um…The Sexiest Akatsuki is definitely Konan.

SN: You only say that because she's female.

Sasuke: No! 

SN: Uh-huh….

Sasuke: -reading card- Hey! Wait! This question is from Ametheneko!

SN: So?

Itachi: That's you!

SN: Ummm…FLEE!

-------

SN: Well, that about wraps up this year's Christmas party! I hope you all had some fun, maybe a few laughs, and your share of Neji!

Neji: -giggles-

SN: I'll probably be having a few more intermissions like this on different major holidays if I get enough of a positive response. Look out for them! Until next time, good bye, and Merry Christmas!


	17. Pills or Surgery?

A/N: OMG! I'm SO sorry this took so long! I was on a cruise, then I was back and had homework, then I was on a retreat, then I got a boy friend, then I was trying to organize a cosplay….ug. It got hectic. But hey! It's up now! And I made it 2 pages longer than normal to make up for it. Yay!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any crazed doctors. Also **I do NOT have anything against the doctor/nurse profession! **It may seem that way by the way my characters act, but this is just the world's stupidest hospital. I, in fact, have deep respect for all men and women willing to put their work in to the medical field.

-------

Sasuke just blinked. "I thought I killed him!"

The fangirls moaned. "But"

"Pein"

"-sama"

"we"

"were"

"having"

"fun!"

Pein ignored them. "You _thought _you killed me." He smirked, brushing some dust off of his shoulder.

"Ug. Stupid clones," Sasuke groaned. "But did you HAVE to send Rabid Fangirls after us?"

"Leader-sama?" Itachi asked, turning his head towards the voice of Pein.

"Yeah. Your stupid Akatsuki leader's behind this, Itachi." He turned to Pein. Sasuke asked, eyeing the disturbing girls.

"Ha. You thought you had me beat," Pein laughed.

"Well you know, I _did _Chidori you twice, stab you, and incinerate you. You'd think that'd do the trick. What are you? Hidan?" Sasuke replied. "Stupid immortals."

Pein laughed. "I simply just made another clone."

"I hate all those stupid clones," Sasuke groaned. "Besides, what have you got against Itachi that you would send them against him?"

"Nothing," Pein replied idly. "Except that he complains about having too many missions. And he's weak."

"Leader-sama?" Itachi asked, looking for an explanation.

Sasuke had had enough. "HE IS SOOO NOT WEAK!" he yelled, cornering Pein. "Let's see _you _try to Mangekyou someone!" At this, Itachi turned away, tears of joy brimming in his eyes. "He killed off the entire clan without even getting a scratch on him! You can't even defeat one Uchiha!"

Suddenly, and quite randomly, Pein exploded. Off in the distance, Sasuke heard an odd voice say, "YAY! I MADE A BOOM, UN! I MADE A BOOM, UN!" Itachi felt an instant of heat from the blast, and then felt as his body hit the ground and skidded.

"NO!!!" Sasuke ran over to Itachi, seeing the burn marks all over his brother's body. "Itachi! Are you alright?"

"S…asu….ke…" Itachi offered his hand towards Sasuke, who grasped it.

"No…oniisan!"

"Sas…suke…I'm so sorry. I couldn't protect you…" Itachi closed his eyes and shook his head feebly.

"No! Itachi! I'm fine! You've got to worry about yourself!" Sasuke shook his head, closing his eyes to avoid the tears.

"Sasuke…" Itachi sighed, coughing up blood. "I couldn't keep you safe. I'm so sorry." He shook his head. "I don't know if I'll survive this."

"Itachi! NO!" Sasuke yelled, but Itachi had already gone unconscious.

-------

One week later, Itachi lay still in the hospital, his condition between critical and stable. A note sat next to his bed.

_Sasuke,_

_I know that you are upset, and I'm sorry, but are you okay? Little brother, if you are hurt, I don't know what I'll do. I'm so sorry._

_If you want, you can spend the night in my room again if it will help you. But I don't know if I will survive. I will try and stay awake until you come, but if not then I am sleeping and I might look different because I will not have my Sharingan present. I will have black eyes like you do. I don't know how long my Sharingan will be unusable._

_If I am sleeping, all you have to do is tell me that you are here. But before you do that, please take a shower because the last time I saw you, you still had strawberry stains, whipped cream on your shirt, and chocolate sauce in your ear. _

_I will try and stay awake. Hurry back, brother. _

_Itachi_

Next to that lay another note.

_Sasuke, _

_I can't stay awake any longer. I'm going to bed. I will talk to you tomorrow. _

_But like I said, I don't know if I will survive. Apparently I have 1 to 2 degree burns. But the doctor said tat I will be fine, so long as I get some rest, which I need greatly and intend to do. _

_But I will survive for you. _

_My side is practically healed and my back is on its way to being healed. I will be able to give you piggy back rides. But they will be short at first, then gradually get longer. _

_Oh, and the doctor also said that no nurses will be near my room. And he will set up a bed for you incase you want to spend the night. _

_Well, I'm going to bed now._

_See you tomorrow, my little brother._

_Itachi_

Sasuke stumbled in the room, another note in hand. Sighing, he set it down next to Itachi's notes and collapsed on the bed next to him.

_Oniisan. What can I say? I've gone on a journey. It seems I'm not strong enough to save myself, let alone you. I will be back at the hospital sometime. You'll know because I'll either wake you or leave you a note._

I realize lately how long my hair's getting. It's long enough that I can wear it in a short ponytail now. I think I might.

I don't remember your eye color. Without the sharingan, I'll have to be double protective of you. There's no way you can defend yourself, and since that wound to your side (which you have yet to explain how you received), you're even less mobile than before.

But don't worry. The journey I'm on...it won't last long, but I'll hopefully return with a new weapon in my arsenal. It should be enough to help us through this.

What is this weapon, you may be wondering. Well, I can't tell you that, but I will say I'm on my way to find Naruto. If all goes according to plan, we'll be safe.

Don't look for me. I'll be back soon.

Sasuke

Suddenly, Itachi's eyes shot open. The room was pitch black, so he didn't see much, but he had heard something. "Sasuke?" he asked the room. "Sasuke, is that you?"

"Ntachi?" Sasuke asked the blackness.

Itachi sighed and clapped his hands. Instantly, the lights flickered on and Sasuke was illuminated. "You probably didn't wanna do that," Sasuke muttered, and Itachi gasped. He was covered from head to toe in injuries.

Jumping out of bed, Itachi rushed to Sasuke's side. "Hey, brother," Sasuke said, a melancholy smirk on his face. "How're you?" He went into a fit of hysterical coughing.

Itachi shook his head. "That doesn't matter now. What happened to you? Who did this? Are you okay?" Itachi got to his feet. "I'm getting the doctor!" He reached over and pressed the Call button on his bed.

"I'm fine, Itachi!" Sasuke protested, leaning towards his brother.

"No you're not! Don't deny it! Just lie there," Itachi ordered, pointing towards the bed.

"Really! I'm fine!" Sasuke replied, pushing himself up with his elbows.

Itachi rushed over to him. "No! Just lie there and rest! And keep breathing!" He shoved Sasuke back down into a prone position.

Sasuke laughed, but it came out as an attack of coughing. "That's a given," he finally managed.

"SASUKE!" Itachi ran to his side and grabbed his brother's hand, deft to Sasuke's continuing protests. "Don't push it. You're not fine. You're hurt. Where is that damn doctor?"

Sasuke shook his head, suddenly full of remorse. "Itachi! I'm sorry. I didn't get the weapon I promised." He shook his head, tears coming to his eyes.

Itachi's eyes brimmed with liquid. "That doesn't matter anymore. I didn't want you to get that weapon anyways. And you tried to…and look at you!" Itachi burst into sobs as he leaned against his bed.

Sasuke shot up, alarmed. "Itachi! It's not your fault!"

"Yes it iiiiiiiiiissssssssssss," Itachi moaned.

"Blame the Kyuubi!" Sasuke suggested, shaking his brother's arm.

"No. It's all my fault." Itachi sighed, picking up some bandages in the corner of the room. "I'm just gonna have to wrap those wounds myself."

Sasuke sighed and grabbed Itachi's hand. "Itachi. Stop it. The doctor's on his way. And stop blaming yourself. It's not your fault I can't kill Naruto."

Itachi shook his head again. "I can't wait for the doctor. And it is my fault for not being able to protect you. I'm so sorry."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Itachi, you say that again, and I'll slap you. I would Chidori you, but that'd probably kill me." Itachi didn't seem to hear, for he put his head against the bed and started to sob again. "GOD, ITACHI!"

Suddenly, the door to the room burst open and a man dressed in a shining, brilliantly white doctor uniform. "Did somebody call for a doctor?" he asked in a heroic voice.

"YOU THINK ABOUT CHIDORIING ME AND…oh, yes. We did," Itachi recovered.

"What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked, striking a pose. Itachi and Sasuke just stared at him. He glanced at Sasuke. "No, seriously. What's the problem?"

Itachi rushed forward and grabbed the doctor by the front of the shirt. "Can't you see…he's injured?" he demanded.

"Who?" Itachi pointed to Sasuke. The doctor smiled. "Aw! It's just a scrape!"

"NO IT'S NOT!" Itachi yelled, gesturing at the horribly bloody Sasuke. "He's very wounded!"

"Oh," the doctor muttered. "I guess I can help." He pulled out a bandage.

"YOU GUESS? YOU _GUESS?_" Itachi fumed, following the doctor around the room.

The doctor sighed and bandaged up Sasuke's face. "There. That should help."

Sasuke sighed under the bandage. "You know, the doctors here are even more useless than the rabid nurses."

"YOU BASTARD!" Itachi yelled. "NOT HIS FACE! THAT'S NOT WHERE HE'S INJURED! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL HIM?" Itachi ripped the bandages off, causing Sasuke to cry out, but he didn't hear.

The doctor cocked his head to the side. "Um….no?" He looked over Sasuke, trying to find the problem. "Oh! I see the problem!"

"REALLY?" Itachi demanded, sarcastically. "IT'S ABOUT TIME! How could you not see it?"

The doctor sighed and leaned over to Itachi to whisper in his ear. "But, you know, there's no bandages that can fix that. I'd have to suggest pills or surgery," the doctor muttered, pointing towards Sasuke's crotch.

Sasuke sweat dropped extremely.

Itachi, however, didn't seem to get it. "What do you think, Sasuke? Pills or surgery?"

"UG!" Sasuke yelled. "NOO!"

Suddenly, Itachi seemed to understand. Whirling around, he punched the doctor in the face. "MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN! Wait. I can't do that…."

"OW!" the doctor yelled. "MY PERFECT PLASTIC SURGERY NOSE!"

Itachi growled and continued to beat up on the doctor until he fled the room.

"Great going, Itachi," Sasuke mumbled. "Now they won't heal me."

Itachi shook his head. "He was looking at you the wrong way. I'll make them heal you."

"He wanted to help!" Sasuke protested. "Ug. He wasn't rabid."

"You don't know that!" Itachi protested. "And, unless you're injured there." Itachi's eyes drifted down.

"Ug! NO!" Sasuke yelled, covering his crotch with his hand. "Naruto wasn't in that sort of mood today."

"Then why would you allow him to do that?" Suddenly, Itachi heard Sasuke's comment. "WHHHHAAATTTT?" he yelled, breathing heavily and ignoring his burn marks.

"Calm down, Itachi!" Sasuke pleaded. "Naruto _wasn't _like that! It's okay. This wasn't one of Neji's parties." Itachi remained silent. "Itachi?"

Itachi sighed. "Sasuke, are you okay? You didn't answer the question."

Sasuke cocked his head to the side. "What question?"

"Pills or surgery?"

-------

A/N: Soo… there it is. Hopefully I'll update soon. But I was going through the reviews for Chapter 16, and you guys still had questions! So I'm going to address them here and at the end of every chapter if they keep coming!

Also, TWO MORE REVIEWS and this will be my most reviewed fic!

SN: So here we are guys! We're back with even more questions!

Sasuke: Greeeeeat.

Itachi: YAY!

Question 5:

SN: Spirit Seer says, "Oh! Oh! Question if we can still ask! (Haha, I feel mischievious, so I'll have some fun with this... XD) Since I've seen so many pairings with Sakura, including SasukeXSakura and ItachiXSakura, which would prefer to date Sakura?"

Sasuke: O.O Do we HAVE to answer this?

Itachi: WEE! I wanna answer!

SN: Knock yourself out.

Itachi: She's a bit too young and, well, obnoxious for me. I mean, the pink hair's cute, but she's so…hyper? And young? It'd be like dating my sister! Sasuke, however, is totally perfect for her!

Sasuke: Ew! Soooo not!

SN: Are you telling me none of you want her?

Uchihas: -nod-

Sakura: -cries-

Sasuke: Nah. I'd go with her. I mean, it _is _one of the most obvious ships….

Sakura: Wee! –hugs Sasuke-

Sasuke: Go AWAY!

Question 6:

SN: Well, Silameara the Crazy Chibi asks, "Ahem... What kind of things would you notice in a fangirl that would cause you to fall in love at first site?"

Sasuke: Um…not being a fangirl?

Itachi: Puh-leez, Sasuke! You're sooo negative! I'd totally appreciate any girl that could Mangekyou or that had food other than tomatoes and ramen, any girl with Wafflecrisp, someone that wasn't too Mary Sue-ish, and someone who didn't obviously resemble a character from the series. Oh, and a girl helps. Despite the KisameItachi shipping in this and the (soon to come) DeidaraItachi shipping, I'm straight.

Sasuke: Suuuure you are.

Itachi: Yups!

Sasuke: ug. Well, I guess I'd go for someone who was strong and didn't need me to save them all the time. Someone who was aloof and didn't always cling to me. Maybe someone who had tomatoes?

Sakura: -is taking notes-

Itachi: That's the spirit! And I'd also like POODLES!

SN: O dear. Not again. Well, that wraps it up for this chapter! See you next time!

Itachi: POODLES!


	18. A Short Chapter Containing Waffles

A/N: See? I updated relatively quickly! Yeah, I know, it's amazing! Heh. Anyway, this is a relatively short chapter because Itachi and I apparently just stopped this storyline. Whoops. Heh. Anyway, the next chapter makes up from this one's briefness. Enjoy! 

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything to do with it. I also don't own any waffles currently. Oh well.

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Sasuke barely resisted the urge to slam his brother's head into the wall. "I'm FINE! He doesn't need any help!" Sasuke yelled, the use of the word "he" made all too clear from the context.

Itachi's lip pouted. "But you said you're hurt!"

Sasuke sighed. "Oh yeah. But he's not." He looked himself up and down. "Um…I just need some bandages and ointment. The doctor was talking about…ug." Sasuke sighed again and turned away.

"You're not bleeding?" Itachi asked.

"Yes, I am," Sasuke responded, showing him one of his many wounds that was happily gushing forth blood. "Just get some bandages."

Itachi frowned. "Is anything broken?"

Sasuke sighed again, growing tired of his brother's constant questions. "Only my leg," he responded calmly.

"SEE?" Itachi shouted suddenly. "YOU'RE NOT FINE!"

"….and maybe a rib or two," Sasuke continued, prodding himself in random places to attempt to find any sore spots. He winced as he poked his ribs.

"SASUKE!" Itachi was in full Protective Older Brother Mode now. "That's it! You're definitely getting an x-ray at least!"

"No! I'm fine!" Sasuke prodded his rib a bit too hard. "Ow." He winced. "Okay. Not fine."

"Exactly." Itachi seemed a bit too happy that Sasuke had admitted defeat. "Now lay still." He shoved him onto Sasuke's bed and pulled the covers over him. "Just rest."

"And I'm reaaaaaalllly out of chakra," Sasuke observed. "That's a problem, as I can't even use my Sharingan. Stupid Naruto."

Itachi placed a finger to Sasuke's lips. "Rest. Shhh. When you wake up, everything will be okay again. I'll fix everything."

"You sure?" Sasuke asked, not liking the look in Itachi's eyes.

"Yes." Itachi was oddly happy. "Positive. But you might be a little sore."

"Don't kill anyone," Sasuke ordered, fearing the worst.

Itachi looked a bit deflated. "I won't. I'll at least try not to."

Sasuke accepted this as the closest to a yes he was going to get out of Itachi. "Good. And don't get yourself hurt." Sleep had begun to grasp at Sasuke, lulling him into unconsciousness slowly.

"I'm fine. And I won't," Itachi droned on, his voice deep and relaxing. "Just keep breathing. And rest." His words came farther and farther apart from each other. "Relax….my foolish…little….brother."

Sasuke snored. Itachi smirked at his brother. "Now, let's get you in better shape."

--------

An hour later, Itachi was sitting next to a dozing Sasuke, holding his hand. Tsunade had only recently left, and Itachi was hoping that Sasuke had enough money to pay her bill. He quietly cursed the alcoholic Hokage.

"Nng…" Sasuke moaned in his sleep. Itachi, who had been in between sleep and alertness, suddenly sat up. "Hmm…Sasuke?" he asked.

"Nng…"

Itachi cocked his head to the side. Something didn't feel right. "Sasuke, are you all right?"

Suddenly, Sasuke started thrashing about wildly in his bed, crying out every few seconds. His body twisted and contorted as Sasuke's face betrayed the pain he was experiencing. "AHHH!" Sasuke yelled.

This was enough to fully wake Itachi. "SASUKE! CALM DOWN!"

"AHHHHH!" Sasuke's hysterical twitching was making him edge off of the mattress. Itachi gently pushed him back on. "NOOOOO!!!!!" Sasuke yelled suddenly.

"SASUKE!" Itachi noticed the many beads of sweat pouring down his brother's body. Itachi grit his teeth and pushed on Sasuke's shoulders, attempting to hold him down. "You need to snap out of it!"

"NO!" Sasuke screamed, his voice cracking. "DON'T! AH! _**DON'T!!!**_"

"SASUKE!" Itachi yelled, trying to get his brother to wake. "No. You need medical attention!" With a sudden movement, Sasuke was sitting up, his eyes open, and his hands clutching Itachi's shoulders. "Sasuke! Calm down!"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THEM!" Sasuke bellowed in his brother's face. "THEY…THEY…!"

"What is it?" Itachi begged, greatly concerned for his brother. "Calm down! Sasuke stop!"

"_**THEY TOOK MY WAFFLES!!!**_" Sasuke fell back onto his pillow, snoring.

Itachi executed a very skillful anime fall.

Sighing, he smiled to himself and shook his head. Then, suddenly, Itachi passed out from lack of food and sleep. The two brothers slept next to each other, peaceful for once.

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A/N: IT'S NOT OVER! I don't know, it just kinda seemed like it was. Heh. Anyways, the next chapter (or the chapter after that) is the long awaited NH! YESHH! I've been looking forward to this for so long!

And good news! The person that plays my Itachi got her computer back, so now we're making even more material! Oh dear. I fear I'll be old and gray by the time I finish this….heh.

Hope you liked it!

Please review!


	19. NH Party Part 1: NHH's and SNHHS's

A/N: See? It didn't take forever to update this time! Maybe it's because I've been wanting to post this chapter for soooo long. Congrats, we're officially at a NH party! Woooo! This and the next chapter will be taking place there. I'm sooo happy! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any singing otters (thank God.)

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Sasuke opened the door to his apartment. His eyes immediately flew to where his brother lay on the couch, chomping away at a box of Wafflecrisp. "Oniisan!"

Itachi looked up from his feast. "Hey, little one. How're you?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Eh. You?"

"Exhausted," Itachi replied, almost letting the Wafflecrisp box slip from his fingers. "I did some training. It seems I've almost got my sharingan back, but I used up all of my chakra."

Sasuke sighed. "Poor oniisan." He sat next to his brother on the couch and proceeded to take off the scarf he was wearing. Itachi glanced at him and fell over on the floor, obviously playing around.

"I went out with Tsunade," Sasuke announced. This caused Itachi to sit up, and Sasuke smirked. "Seems she said I'd have to pay for my medical bill by ice skating with her. She has a thing for bishis." He sighed again. "I fell down three times while skating, all on my right knee. I even skidded for about seven feet, but Tsunade (the little witch) said she'd heal everything except for my knee." Sasuke shook his head, nursing his raw knee.

Itachi laughed, lying back down. "That's just like Tsunade." He glanced up at his brother. "Your knees okay?"

"Except for my right, perfect," Sasuke replied, grabbing some bandages from his pack and wrapping up his knee.

"That's good. Do you need me to bandage it or put some ointment on it?"

"I'm fine," Sasuke replied, indicating the already wrapped knee. "And no pills or surgery, although you might want to look into that for yourself…"

"Why?" Itachi demanded, sitting up.

Sasuke smirked. "Let's just say Kisame's a pretty big gossip." He glanced down at his brother and shook his head playfully.

"What'd he say?" Itachi demanded. "Was he drunk? Again?"

Sasuke stared at Itachi. "Neji's parties are epic," was all he said.

Itachi sighed and flipped back onto his back. "Do you know when he's having another one?" He started flipping Wafflecrisp pieces across the room, where they smashed against the wall.

"Sometime soon," Sasuke replied, watching the Wafflecrisps. "Why? You wanna get in on the action?"

"Well," Itachi began, flicking two pieces this time. "I _did _promise that I would give you a piggy back to the next one, didn't I?" He turned to face his brother.

Sasuke laughed. "But _can _you? Are you fit enough, old man?"

Itachi's expression darkened. "I'M NOT AN OLD MAN!! I'm just older than you."

Sasuke smirked, flipping on the couch so he was upside down and his head was hanging off into space. "Which makes you an old man." He flicked Itachi's nose.

Itachi had a small spasm when Sasuke flicked his nose. Sasuke knew that bugged him. It had since they were small. Rubbing his face like a cat, Itachi said, "No. Do you want me to give you a piggy back ride or not?"

"Yes!" Sasuke exclaimed, kicking his leg in the air and almost falling off the couch.

"Then don't argue."

"Fine," Sasuke agreed, playing with a lock of his black hair. "Neji's got a party going on now. Wanna stop by? All the usual suspects should be there."

Itachi pretended to hesitate for a moment. "Sure."

"Yay!" Sasuke kicked again, and this time he did fall off, right onto Itachi. Itachi rolled over and shoved Sasuke off, poking him in the forehead. "But remember my chakra is low," Itachi continued, as if nothing had happened.

"That's okay," Sasuke replied, picking up some of the Wafflecrisp shards. "It's better if you can't tell what everyone's doing. Trust me. Using the sharingan is enough to give you a massive headache at one of these things." Sasuke sighed. "So, to Neji's, oniisan?"

"Yeah. We can go," Itachi responded.

"Yay!" Sasuke hopped onto his brother's back.

Itachi shifted Sasuke to make it more comfortable. "You can stay, but I'm gonna probably have to leave early."

"AWW!" Sasuke groaned. "But you gotta stay for a little bit!"

"Oh, I will," Itachi assured him, bursting into a brisk run.

"I love piggy back rides, oniisan!" Sasuke said, apparently reverting to his younger self whenever he was being given a piggy back ride. He hugged Itachi's neck.

"As do I, Sasuke," Itachi replied, laughing. "And I'll hug you when you get down."

"Awww!" Sasuke protested. "But I love hugging your neck!"

"Fine," Itachi replied. "You can hug my neck. Just don't strangle me."

"Awwww!" Sasuke smirked. "How far is Neji's?" He looked down at Itachi. "Man, for an old man, I've surprised you can run!"

Itachi growled and ran faster. "WEEE!" yelled Sasuke.

"Not…that…far…" Itachi said through clenched teeth.

Suddenly, an otter flipped itself along next to Itachi and Sasuke. They both turned to stare at it. "Just around the river bend!" the otter sang. "Waiting just around the river b-" The otter was no more.

"I thought you couldn't Mangekyou?" Sasuke asked his brother.

"I can't anymore. That was my last one. But it was worth it."

Sasuke nodded in agreement. He would be haunted for days. "Mush, oniisan, mush!"

"I don't mush," Itachi replied through grit teeth.

"But you run as if you're an OLD MAN! What if I string Wafflecrisp in front of your face?" Sasuke asked, hatching what he thought was a brilliant plan.

"Then I will stop running."

Sasuke sighed. "I never realized how far Neji's is. I always teleport…."

"Well I need to get my strength back," Itachi replied.

"That works!" Sasuke suddenly exclaimed. "Work those buns! GO GO GO! GO!!! RIDE! SHOW YOUR STUFF!" Luckily, Itachi chose that moment to come to a dead halt in front of Neji's house. This, of course, saved the neighborhood from hearing Sasuke's rendition of the Naruto Theme Song. However, the music radiating from the house would have drowned him out anyway.

Suddenly, Itachi collapsed to the floor, his hands going to hold his head.

"Oniisan!" Sasuke slipped down next to him. "You okay?"

Itachi shook his head. "Massive migraine. The music is too loud."

Sasuke laughed at his brother. "Neji's got epic parties. I told you you'd have a headache. It's natural for the first comers to get one. Just ask Tsunade to heal you when you get inside." Leaning against the door, Sasuke opened it slowly. "And welcome, Itachi…to your first…Neji Hyuuga party!" He flung the door open.

Within that one small millisecond, Itachi was suddenly smacked by a brick wall of music, lights, talking, strobe lights, and the unmistakable smell of sake. Finding his way to his feet, he leaned against the wall of the house. He found himself vibrating with the music.

Suddenly, Neji stumbled up towards the brothers, obviously drunk. "H-hey, Sasuke! I didn't know you'd bring Itachi!" He hiccupped loudly.

"Hey, Neji," Sasuke responded, stepping towards the host. "Yeah. He's ready for his first NH party."

Itachi's eyes widened. "What have I done?"

Neji glanced up at Itachi. "Ah. So you have the famous NH headache. That's fine. Tsunade can help you." A devilish grin spread its way across his face.

Itachi looked down at the two boys. "The looks on your faces aren't reassuring."

"Well, you see, there's kinda this…initiation thing. It's okay. Nothing to worry about. TSUNADE!" Neji yelled, attempting to distract Itachi.

Tsunade made her slow way over. "Neh? What'd you want, kiddo?" She pinched Neji's cheek.

Neji pointed at Itachi. "NH headache."

Itachi sighed. "Wouldn't the headache just come back?"

Tsunade smirked and shook her head, placing her hand on Itachi's forehead. "Don't worry, hun. I'm good at this sort of thing. Besides, once you've had an NH headache, it doesn't come back."

Sasuke faked tears as Tsunade healed him, and Neji patted him on the back. "My brother…" Sasuke sobbed. "All grown up!"

Itachi fell over as Tsunade did her work. "All better."

Sasuke looked curiously at his brother. "Itachi?" he poked him. "You okay, Itachi?"

Neji sighed and handed Itachi a drink. "This'll help. I promise."

Itachi narrowed his eyes at the glass. "Something tells me you spiked that drink." Neji smiled mischievously and whistled idly. Itachi turned to Sasuke. "And I'm not gonna do that initiation thing."

Sasuke looked hurt. "Aw! But Kisame did! We all did! You should have seen Neji! It was _hilarious!_"

"Well Kisame can be an idiot sometimes."

"Naruto did it!"

Itachi narrowed his eyes. "And that's supposed to convince me."

Sasuke sighed. "Want to at least come in?"

Itachi stared at the wall he had been clinging to. "I thought I was already inside. Hence my hand was on the wall?"

Sasuke burst out laughing. Hitting his brother playfully on the back, he replied, "No! Please! NH's home is huge!" He shook his head, leading Itachi into the first room of Neji's house. "Now you're in party room one!" he shouted above the music. "There's five of them in totally, each one better than the rest!"

Neji smirked, pushing Sasuke aside. "My game's in room four. It's great."

Sasuke laughed and shoved Neji. "C'mon! You musta run out of colors by now!"

Itachi, however, was not amused. He was holding his head, even though it didn't hurt. "Which room's the quietest?" he asked the two. Neji and Sasuke gave him blank stares. "Incase my headache comes back, I need a quiet place. Or…um…how would I get to a quiet place?" Itachi tried again.

"Um…by leaving the city?" Neji laughed at his own responses.

Sasuke shook his head disapprovingly. "C'mon, oniisan! It's not that bad! Besides, one NHH and you're fine! Completely cured!"

"Well when you live in a cave and have to hear echoes all day…" Itachi trailed off.   
He sighed at Sasuke's response. "Well, I've got a normal headache then."

"Good point," agreed Sasuke to Itachi first point. He scowled at the second. "Hm. That's odd."

Suddenly, Sasuke was glomped from behind by a random person in black. "Yes, quite odd, un!"

Deidara smiled at Itachi over Sasuke's shoulder. He shifted so his head was on Sasuke's. "I'm normally not this far out, un. Normally room three at least, yeah. But I heard you were here, Itachi-san, yeah. So I came out, un!" Deidara explained, snuggling against Sasuke's hair.

Just then, Itachi recognized the man. "Deidara?" he asked, seeing the blonde. Deidara smirked at him. "Wazzup, man?" His eyes shifted to Sasuke. "Sasuke-kun!" he exclaimed. "Long time no see, un! You missed the last NH, un!" He and Sasuke proceeded to do the SNHHS (Secret Neji Hyuuga Hand Shake), leaving Itachi quite bewildered.

Sasuke looked over at Itachi, upon whose face was plastered a look of utter shock. "Deidara and I are friends, Itachi," Sasuke explained.

Deidara smirked, leaning towards Itachi. "Come into the deeper rooms, Itachi-san, un! It's better in the other rooms, yeah!"

Neji smirked and used his Byakugan to read the clock behind him. "Ah! It's almost game time!"

Sasuke jumped up and down. "Oo! Let's let Itachi guess it this time!"

"Yeah! The new guy, un!" Deidara yelled, hugging Itachi with the one arm that was still attached. The group slowly shifted Itachi into the second room through much strength, encouragement, distractions, and effort.

"No! No games for Itachi!" Itachi declared, turning around once they were in the room.

"C'mon, Itachi-san!" Deidara exclaimed, hitting him with his right arm (His left arm was nowhere to be seen). "It'll be fun, un!" Suddenly Deidara spotted someone on the other side of the room. "KISAME-SAN, UN!" He yelled as loudly as he could using the mouths on his hands to back up his noise. Several people threw glances his way. 

"C'mon, Kisame-san!" Deidara screamed. "We're gonna play the game, un!" This apparently got Kisame's attention, as he followed them into the room.

At the sound of this, Neji struck a feminine and seductive pose.

Itachi shook his head, terrified. "No!"

Kisame smirked. "You're not going to leave us after you just got here!"

"B-but I'm not in the game playing mood!" Itachi protested, desperate for excuses now.

Sasuke ignored him. "C'mon, Itachi! You've gotta! It's that, or you let me go into the hardcore rooms without an escort! Remember my other stories…" He smirked.

Kisame laughed. "Did you tell him everything?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Just the basics. Not going in too deep for the sake of his sanity." They had managed to push Itachi into the third room.

Kisame nodded approvingly. "Ah. That's a good idea."

Deidara smirked, clutching Itachi. "Almost there, un!"

"NOOOO!" Itachi yelled, flailing madly to attempt to loosen Deidara's grip on his shoulder. "No games! You can't make me!" He shifted from right to left to try to lose them, but to no avail. Deidara laughed and released Itachi long enough to pick up a drink in his only hand.

"You wanna bet we can't?" Sasuke asked threateningly. "No Mangekyou, remember? We can do whatever we want!"

Itachi stopped dead for a moment before continuing the struggle. "But I can still fight and struggle!"

"It's four on one, oniisan."

It was at that moment that the group made it into room four. The moment they burst through the door, Neji let out a loud holler. "IT'S GAME TIME, EVERYONE!" Everyone in the room suddenly stormed towards Neji, blocking any hope Itachi had had of escaping.

"YAY!" Sasuke yelled, leaping slightly. "ITACHI, YOU GO FIRST!"

Itachi wasn't quite sure what was going on. He wasn't sure where he was, whose hand was on his shoulder, or who was flicking his ponytail. In that moment, all he knew what that quite suddenly and very disturbingly, Neji was shaking his little Hyuuga butt in Itachi's face.

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A/N: So that's the end of the first bit of the NH party! I hope you liked it, as scary as it is. I should be updating soon!

And thank you thank you THANK YOU for giving this fic over 100 reviews! This is now my most reviewed fanfic! Thank you so much!

Itachi: Heeeeeeey! You never did a Valentine's episode of Fun With Uchihas!

SN: Um, well, we don' t have any questions anyway!

Sasuke: That's because you never asked them!

SN: Um…heh! –hides-

Please review!


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